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Glennsallnighter
09-20-2007, 05:11 AM
For those of us ladies who are constantly monitoring what we eat, and trying to lose 'those last 5 pounds' here's a little advice on the foods one should consume and how to consume them in order attain her goal

1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it it has no calories.

2. if you drink a diet soda with a candy bar the calories in the candy bar are cancelled by those in the diet soda.

3. When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you don't eat more than they do.

4. Foods used for medicinal purposes NEVER count, such as hot chocolate, Brandy, Toast and Sara Lee Cheesecake

5. Movie related foods (Butter popcorn, Nacho's, Milk duds (?),Junior mints, Red hots, Tootsie Rolls etc) do not have additional calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of ones personal fuel.

6. If you fatten up every one else around you, then you look thinner.

7. Cookie pieces contain no fat because the process of breaking causes fat leakage.

8. Things licked off knives and spoons have no calorific value if you are in the process of preparing something. Examples are peanut butter on a knife making a sandwich and icecream on a spoon making a sundae.

9. Foods that are the same colour have the same number of calories. Examples are spinach and pistachio icecream, mushrooms and white chocolate. (Note: Chocolate is a Universal colour and may be substituted for any other food colour)

10. Foods that are frozen contain no calories as calories are units of heat. Examples are Icecream, frozen pies and popsicles.

11. Foods eaten watching a major event on TV do not count. Major events include Superbowl, Rugby matches, Hockey Finals, Soccer matches, Coronation Street, Jerry Springer Show.

12. Powerbars and other type of energy bars make you thinner as it is common knowledge that only thin people can be seen eating energy bars. Ergo, they must make you thin.

13. Snickers is classed as an energy bar (See #12)

14. Tasting other peoples food does not add to your calorie count. Particularly true when the 'other person' is under 5 and you need to check his dessert for nuts!

15.Containers of food that list the number of servings as greater then one are lying. Every container contains one serving. Half a gallon of icecream, box of cereal, bottle of soda, bag of chips are all one serving.

So, Ladies, lets all start 'Livin Right'
_________________

mirrors on the ceiling
pink champagne on ice
if I ever get to meet you Glenn,
It would it would be kinda nice!

glenneaglesfan
09-20-2007, 06:08 AM
Lol, GA!!

If only.... :D

tbs fanatic
09-20-2007, 12:18 PM
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Mrs Frey
09-21-2007, 07:06 AM
Brilliant, GA! I really enjoyed that!! :rofl:

I think we all need to watch Glenn's :heart: "Livin' Right" video again to remind us of reality! :wink: Seeing him in all his muscular glory should be motivation enough!

Brooke
09-25-2007, 09:27 AM
:hilarious: Love it, GA!

sodascouts
09-25-2007, 01:13 PM
LOL!!! That was great!!

SweetHolly
09-26-2007, 12:13 AM
ROFLMAO! :lol: :rofl:

I really wish it was true. :hilarious:

Glennsallnighter
09-26-2007, 05:38 PM
Don't we all SH! :D

SweetHolly
09-26-2007, 09:40 PM
Don't we all SH! :D

I seem to remember this might have been a topic at one of my WW meetings. :lol: