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Yesterday I answered a knock on the door, only to be
confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.

'Good morning,' said the young man. 'If I could take a couple of...

Hey rcknalwys,
Just another reminder of how life revolves around,It's hard sometimes,really hard.
That's why i believe we have to make the most of the good times.
I deal with sadness and tragedy...

Thanks Brooke,
My wife is jealous too.I have said I'd pick her up from work every night on the way home from golf.I don't think she was happy with that.however. I said"show me your pension plan,and...

I retire from the police in a little under 2 yrs(30 yrs service).I will only be 48 yrs of age.. The prospect of having to re-sell myself, and try and get another job is frightening.
I'm not poor and...

Little Tony was 9 years old and was staying with his grandmother for a few days.

He'd been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the house and asked her,

'Grandma,...

STRESS RELIEF
Close your eyes and picture yourself near a stream.
Birds are softly chirping in the crisp, cool mountain air.
Nothing can bother you here, no one knows this secret place.
You...

I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Eric, the 11 year old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control and asked him to come over. Eric clicked a couple of buttons and solved...

EU Directive No. 456179

In order to meet the conditions for joining the Single European currency, all citizens of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland must be made aware that...

DIPPERS

An elderly man in North Carolina had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up really nice, along with some picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some...

hey Jill,
no i didn't get to go...I dropped enough hints to the wife,but she didn't take me up on it....I even got tickets to see her favourite,Bon Jovi in June(think I'll sell them on ebay) :-( ...

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
'Take...

A man with a gun goes into a bank and demands their money. Once he is given
the money, he turns to a customer and asks,
'Did you see me rob this bank?' the man replied, 'Yes sir, I did.'
The...

WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on...

cool

After getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the limo, and He doesn't travel light), the driver notices that the Pope is still standing on the curb
'Excuse me, Your Holiness,' says the...

A woman awakes during the night to find

that her husband was not in their bed.


She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him.


She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a...

Hey,
I'm Scottish, we now have two tiers of national government..in Scotland and In UK.....I can relate X 2.

A doctor in Ireland wants to get off work and go hunting, so he approaches his assistant.

"Seamus, I am going hunting tomorrow and don't want to close the clinic," he says. "I want you to take...

An elderly gentleman...
Had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to...

Good one..

Just like the rich American guy who was driving a big,swanky car in Mid Ireland on business,trying to find the road to Dublin.He suddenly see's an old farmer tending his cattle in the...

Big People Words
A group of kindergartners were trying very hard to become accustomed to the
first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on
NO baby talk! "You need to...

9 Things I Hate About Everyone



1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where...

Irish airlines
Ryanair pilot flying into Heathrow,the plane is in trouble! So he calls the tower, says "help,Easter Sunday, Pancake Tuesday,Boxing day"!

Voice comes back "Paddy the word you're...

Don't think so..... :cry:
Unless my wife get's one of the many hints about the concerts being around about our anniversary.

working on it :wink:

MY NEW PARROT

Recently I received a parrot as a gift.
The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word
out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity....