Unfortunately, Nancy....

[sodascouts]

Yeah, these comments have had me cracking up, too!

And thanks for pointing out Brooke's new location, EV - I too hadn't noticed it. Nice!

[anne-o-gg]

unfortunately this does not work with "Tonja" - my name is too rare, me thinks...

[Prettymaid]

unfortunately this does not work with "Tonja" - my name is too rare, me thinks...

Oh well, just use Anne!

[eaglesvet]

OK, my turn...

1. Unfortunately, Eva was then pigeonholed as a dance-craze singer and given inferior material. (which may explain why I never won the Grammy I so richly deserved...)

2. Unfortunately, Eva has had to cancel the gig at Cafe Camelot on the 3rd of October because of a throat infection. (Let's hope that's all it is. )

3. Unfortunately, Eva is unable to capture changes in this value. (Sorry, I tried! )

4. Unfortunately, Eva isn't expecting now nor will she anytime soon. (I'm thinkin' fortunately on this one...)

5. Unfortunately, Eva's husband Tony Parker couldn't be there because of his playing schedule. (I admit, this particular hubby had me a bit confounded with his 'playing' schedule...till Uncle Google told me he was on the San Antonio Spurs .)

6. Unfortunately, Eva also sees that different departments are sometimes doing the same thing, so communication within ING could be improved somewhat. (Boring.)

7. Unfortunately, Eva's new movie, The Spirit, didn't have a good Christmas... (Hey, don't ever stop believing in Santa Claus...)

8. Unfortunately, Eva has been unlucky in love. (How about Tony Parker? What is he, chopped liver? )

9. Unfortunately, Eva's Esthetics does not seem to provide much information about the products, such as ingredients... (Oh come on, what do you want now, everything?!?)

10. Unfortunately, Eva, who had been eavesdropping at the door, heard Blix's quiet confidence and came storming into the room accusing Blix of not being able to keep a secret and of breaking his word. (Yes, it's quite a skill I've cultivated...to be able to hear quiet confidence .)

11. Unfortunately, Eva looked like she'd come gift-wrapped in Marchesa, while Teri Hatcher's bright yellow ruffles were more Easter chick than chic. (I'm not quite certain if I look better or worse than Teri Hatcher at this event...)

12. Unfortunately, Eva had to put on some weight for her changed role. (Oh, brother!)

13. Unfortunately, Eva hasn't found work as a tax accountant again. (Perhaps something to do with that Ponzi scheme the firm was involved in?)

14. Unfortunately, Eva is able to persist in cooled or frozen semen as well as in fresh semen. (No comment.)

15. Unfortunately, Eva has over a nine year "closed" wait list for her. (See #14 .)

[eaglesvet]

Surprisingly, #14 actually makes perfect scientific sense to a veterinarian. EVA is the acronym for Equine Viral Arteritis, a virus in horses that causes flu-like symptoms but is also a venereal disease. Hence, the reference to fresh, cooled, and frozen semen as used in artificial insemination.
End of science lesson today.

I like the way statement #14 reads in the original game posting---definitely my favorite one.

[Maleah]

5. Unfortunately, Willie's alcoholism means he struggles to control his bladder (like I said above about my relapse-wish these things wouldn't get out)

Not gonna lie.....I probably laughed for a good 5 minutes over that

[Maleah]

Unfortunately, Louise gets to the car first, and puts the seat down, and says "Joe get in the back" and he does. (It was all completely innocent, guv. Honest.)

Do Ticky and PM know about this?

[Maleah]

I decided that since a lot of people call me Leah instead of Maleah, I would add a few more because I'm bored and don't want to go to bed quite yet. lol


Unfortunately, Leah also had some problems remembering the lyrics and choreography for the group number (you didn't know I am secretly on American Idol did you? I have a hard time lip syncing to the group number when I can't remember my lyrics and keep tripping over my own two feet)


Unfortunately Leah does not seem to be playing to this strength and is not doing herself any favours with her stunted vocabulary (hmmph....who asked you anyway)


unfortunately Leah is not in a condition that she can talk to anyone (er....eh...well.......fine I admit it. I was supposed to be preparing for an interview and I was watching HFO)


Unfortunately Leah had some complications and had to be spayed ( eek!)


unfortunately Leah has another boy in mind (oh gosh....how did you know *blush* Although I wouldn't exactly call him a BOY per say......he's past that by now I would say )


Unfortunately, Leah’s father has plans for her to wed a wealthy man (and Leah has no complaints! Really! As long as Mr. Henley moves to Utah we're good!)


unfortunately Leah doesn't have time to meet with all 200 Million plus of you (*sigh* 'tis true unfortunately! But please do continue to vote for me! I'll remember you all when I'm arrested and thrown in jail for trying to swipe Eagles souvenirs for each of you!)

[melrose]

1.Unfortunately Melissa has nothing else to say (highly unlikely)
2.Unfortunately Melissa’s parents opted to go their separate ways (Not true, but I'll tell ya', my mother would argue with a street sign)
3.Unfortunately Melissa is frequently adulterated with other lemon-type aromas (oh dear)
4.Unfortunately Melissa can’t stop thinking of how bad Jerry looks naked, and the relationship is ruined (hehe)
5.Unfortunately Melissa doesn’t have time to look after her own pets because she is training ever day (Eagles flashing techniques are difficult to master )
6.Unfortunately Melissa says her son’s attempts at crawling may just be to get away from his big brother!
7.Unfortunately Melissa is spotted by the killers ()
8.Unfortunately Melissa got a little carried away and was disqualified
9.Unfortunately Melissa couldn’t keep all her food in her mouth or off her chin (classy)
10.Unfortunately Melissa was busy on the JD loading feeds with Bingo as navigator and could not join us (umm okay)
11.Unfortunately Melissa was a bad doll, a very bad doll (uhh )
12.Unfortunately Melissa is very disorganized and is usually late and so this does not help her in her difficult quest (Things to do: 1.buy day planner 2.find Timothy)
13.Unfortunately Melissa didn’t grow up with a paintbrush in her hand (this was a smart move on my parents' part)
14.Unfortunately Melissa’s teaching skills are pretty poor and she has a hard time inspiring a class of adults (ouch!)
15.Unfortunately Melissa made a series of bad choices and so did the kid who owned the car (this reminds me of a college party I once attended...)

[TimothyBFan]

Not gonna lie.....I probably laughed for a good 5 minutes over that

Didn't anyone tell you it's not nice to laugh at other peoples bladder control problems?

Melissa --gotta tell you #9 and #11 had me rolling on the ground.