Good for a Laugh

[Z]

A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded: " Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're crazy to go to Rome . So, how are you getting there?"

"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"

"Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?"

"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome 's Tiber River called Teste."

"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks it's gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump, the worst hotel in the city! The rooms are small, the service is surly, and they are overpriced. So, whatcha' doing when you get there?"

"We're going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope."

"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. "You and a million other people are trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."

A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome.

"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "Not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was over booked and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot.

And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too were over booked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"

"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."

"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand, I knelt down, and he spoke a few words to me."

"Oh, really! What'd he say?"

"The Pope said, "Where'd you get the horrible hairdo?"

[EasyFeeling]

[DonFan]

Okay, be warned, this one is dirty, but I gave my hubby a book by Willie Nelson for Christmas and this was one of his favorite jokes:

What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?

A piece of ass so good that it makes your eyes water!

[Toonlass]

Nice jokes all....I have a silly one for you:

Three Little Piggies went out to dinner one night. The waiter came and took their drink order. "I would like a Sprite," said the first little piggy. "I would like a Coke," said the second little piggy. "I want water, lots and lots of water," said the third little piggy.

The drinks were brought out and the waiter took their orders for dinner. "I want a nice big steak," said the first piggy. "I would like the salad plate," said the second piggy. " I want water, lots and lots of water," said the third little piggy.

The meals were brought out and a while later the waiter approached the table and asked if the Piggies would like any dessert. "I want a banana split," said the first piggy. "I want a root beer float," said the second piggy. "I want water, lots and lots of water," exclaimed the third little piggy. "Pardon me for asking," said the waiter to the third little piggy, "but why have you only ordered water all evening?" The third piggy says - "Well, somebody has to go 'Wee, wee, wee, all the way home!

[glenneaglesfan]

Thanks for a good laugh, everyone!

[sodascouts]

LOL! This is a good thread to read after a hard drive home in the rain. Thanks for the laughs, guys!

[Brooke]

Heehee! These are funny! Thanks!

[sodascouts]

I got this one off of another forum I frequent:

How many forum posters does it take to change a light bulb?

- 1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed

- 14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently

- 7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs

- 5 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs

- 6 to flame the spell checkers

- 8 to correct spelling/grammar flames

- 6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb"

- another 6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive

- 2 industry professionals to inform the board that the proper term is "lamp"

- 5 know-it-alls who claim *they* were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct

- 10 to post that this board is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb board

- 20 to demand that cross posting to hardware forum, off-topic forum, and lightbulb forums about changing light bulbs be stopped

- 11 to defend the posting to this board saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts *are* relevant to this forum

- 306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty

- 2 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs

- 1 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's

- 3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this board which makes light bulbs relevant to this board

- 33 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too"

- 12 to post to the board that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy

- 19 to quote the "Me too's" to say "Me three"

- 4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ

- 4 to ask what is a "FAQ"

- 4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"

- 14 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs"

- 1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again....

[glenneaglesfan]

Lol, good one Nancy!! That's a bit like the workings of the National Health Service!

[DonFan]

Even funnier to me is the fact that, two years ago before I fell in love with the Eagles and Don and started frequenting message boards, I wouldn't have understood most of those references, and now I find them absolutely hilarious!