Too funny!
Too funny!
"They will never forget you 'till somebody new comes along"
1948-2016 Gone but not forgotten
Good one!!
All of us who are married will identify with that to some extent.
I had a couple of ideas on the 'light bulb' thing about 'how many Eagles and how many Eagles fans does it take to change a light bulb'.
Glenn doesn't change light bulbs. He delegates.
Don buys his light bulbs in bulk from Walmart but only changes then when he thinks it's environmentally safe to do so.
Joe got drunk while changing a light bulb once and hasn't done it since.
Tim does it obediently but when the others stand below in a circle watching him, he says to them 'it's not the circle of fear'.
Change light bulbs? Huh? The PAs & techs do that. Irving can't though, because he can't reach the fitting.
1 Eagles fan says that Glenn should change light bulbs more often & when he does he should wear black T shirts & jeans.
Another says that Don should only wear black while changing light bulbs.
Someone else says that Joe would see better if he wore glasses to change light bulbs.
Yet another says that Tim always changes the same two light bulbs. Why not let him change another one?
Every Eagles fan in the world says that they should start their light bulb changing project in (insert city of your choice).
Etc.
I have to protest in the strongest possible way,about that sexist Joke.......Only kidding.
Here is something i like to share with you ladies....something to show mans more sensitive side.
SOMETIMES
When you cry,no one sees your tears.
when you are worried, no one sees your pain
when you are happy,no one sees your smile.
try farting,and my god,see the attention you get.
(farting...Flatulence(lower)).
Take It Easy
Billy
Very good, FP! Very good!
I am not an island
I am not alone
I am my intentions
Trapped here in this flesh and bone
Yep, I like it too, FP.
And Billy, good one.
Love it, FP!
My contribution to the day's laugh meter (with apologies for #14):
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
For Those Who Take Life Way Too Seriously:
1. A day without sunshine is like? Night.
2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
3. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
4. He who laughs last thinks the slowest.
5. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
6. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
7. Support bacteria? It may be the only culture some people have.
8. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
9. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
10. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
11. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
12. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
13. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
14. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines
15. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
16. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
17. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
18. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What the hell happened?"
19. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
Good ones, DF, especially #18. Here's my politically incorrect contribution for today:
Three Rednecks were working up on a cell phone tower - Cooter, Pete and KC. As they start their descent Cooter slips, falls off the tower and is killed instantly. As the ambulance takes the body away, Pete says, "Well, damn, someone should go and tell his wife." KC says, "OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it." Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of Budweiser.
Pete says, "Where did you get that beer, KC?" "Cooter's wife gave it to me," KC replies. "That's unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you beer?"
Well, not exactly", KC says. "When she answered the door, I said to her, 'You must be Cooter's widow'." She said, "You must be mistaken, I'm not a widow.".... then I said.... "I'll bet you a case of Budweiser you are."
I am not an island
I am not alone
I am my intentions
Trapped here in this flesh and bone