Thoughts on board conflict

[lizzyplays]

Well, I somehow deleted my entire comment before it posted! I don't have the heart or patience to write what I wrote before, but here goes the short version.

This is in response to the other thread where Felder became subject and was off topic and things got heated. I shy away from those debates, mostly because I don't contain the knowledge that you guys do.

What I wanted to say in reference to someone's comment about how people's tone or attitude seems brash or confrontational (and i see that in many threads so I'm not isolating anyone), but I tend to agree with that... i see a lot of comments that seem that way.

I had a conversation last night with VA. I am in the middle of Felders' book and this is the ONLY written material I have ever read about any of the past, except what I read here. I'm only 2/3 way through, but being a Felder fan, I was kind of taking his side. So i went to VA and asked her questions like "how did she know this, how do u know what glenn did or don h?" Instead of jumping down my throat and berating me for daring to question anything about Glenn/Don, she chatted with me civilly. She offered up questions of her own to me. Pointed out different perspectives or ways to look at the various things that were happening. And she never once made me feel as I was being attacked or that I was doing any attacking. I am naive on all this, not sure why or how I came to favor Felder... I really have no clue. It's just always been my opinion for years and years. I supposed media had a big part in that.

Bottom line, that is how you carry out a debate. With thoughtful insight, offering up facts as you know them, presenting new ideas in a non hostile way. I was never once scared to ask her ANYTHING or say anything on such a hot topic and trust me, sometimes you guys scare the pee out of me.

So, thanks VA for just being you and being helpful in getting me to understand things.

[Tiffanny Twisted]

Yeah VA ...such a class lady

[zeldabjr]

I love your post Lizzy...I feel the same way...I am often very reluctant to say anything for fear of getting jumped on...as I too am not as knowledgable about a lot of things as many on the board...we all come to this board with only one thing in common...love for this band...after that we all have different levels of knowledge regarding their history...and I love learning about them and love hearing differing opinions so I can learn as many angles of a debate as possible...
oh and you're right about VA..she's a doll! (even though she's a Pittsburgh fan!) hehehe

[Tiffanny Twisted]

I enjoy reading all the wonderfull info on this site,
I appreciate all the time it takes out of busy lives to post and keep us all in the loop.I like the history too....
I like getting different perspectives on things,,,
I too at time have felt that "some individuals" tend to be confrentational as Lizzy mentions.....Its ashame,,,,I would like to think that people dont mean to be as "brash" sounding as they are or as they come off to be,. but then again maybe I am a pollyanna in a bitter world
I come here for enjoyment and being around other people who have loved this band for 42 years.
Isnt it wonderful that they are all still here and healthy and still wanna bring us joy and perform>

[lizzyplays]

Thanks! I really wanted to make the point that it IS possible to have totally different opinions and be able to have thought-provoking, intellectual conversations and debates.

Maybe VA was sitting at her computer, throwing her hands up in the air in disgust, every time I questioned a Glenn/DonH motive, but she never let on to me that did. And we're not all the same. Not everyone can be a VA, or be like me and detest conflict (for no reason in most cases).

I'm here to learn, I don't have much to share, but I enjoy what is being shared with me and most of all, I love the friendships being made. I'm a sap. I just wanted VA to be recognized for handling me with her own special brand of kid gloves.

[Tiffanny Twisted]

recognized

[sodascouts]

Didn't mean to scare you, LP, or anyone else.

It's a good idea for everyone to make sure their posts don't contain language that is too emotionally charged or that makes things into a personal issue, myself included.

Side note - If you detest conflict you must not go to too many GNR boards, eh? lol

[lizzyplays]

Didn't mean to scare you, LP.

It's a good idea for everyone to make sure their posts don't contain language that is too emotionally charged or that makes things personal, myself included.

Side note - If you detest conflict you must not go to too many GNR boards, eh? lol

LOL. I actually don't go to any GNR forums because they are always filled with foul mouthed kids! I took Slash and the other guys side when it all fell apart and I'll never be swayed from that. Instead I have friends like Willy and a bunch of older women and men that I found on Twitter, who have the same views. To me just like politics, I don't mind having an intelligent debate but I'm not going to respond to stupid jokes or made up facts. I saw someone post a so called you yesterday about Michelle Obama fist pumping and how she wasn't a good first lady because of that and I thought really? With everything going on in the world, that's your political statement? I can't be bothered with nonsense!!
Anyways, I just think debates and different opinions can be handled civilly and VA was a perfect example and I appreciated it!!

[Topkat]

Well, I am just now reading this thread & I must say that it surprises me how some of you reacted to my post on the other thread because I do not feel I was was being confrontational.. By using the term, "Excuse me ?" is that confrontational? I didn't think so...Maybe you have interpreted that way, but it was just an expression.
I felt I was being attacked, & there are several people on here that will jump all over anyone who says a nice thing about Don Felder!
Saying something nice about Felder is NOT a statement against Don, or Glenn, but that is how many seem to interpret it..

I also read Felder's book, & we are yet to hear the other side of the story from either Glenn or Don, so none of us know the true story of what went down between them. We will probably never know the real truth anyway.

I would just appreciate not being jumped on for saying a kind word about Don Felder.. I do think he is very talented & was a great addition to the Eagles.

I am not here to argue with anyone. I hate confrontation. I have met several of you in person & I do consider you friends.

[VAisForEagleLovers]

Bottom line, that is how you carry out a debate. With thoughtful insight, offering up facts as you know them, presenting new ideas in a non hostile way. I was never once scared to ask her ANYTHING or say anything on such a hot topic and trust me, sometimes you guys scare the pee out of me.

So, thanks VA for just being you and being helpful in getting me to understand things.

Ahhhh, Lizzy, you are too sweet! Thank you for listening to my somewhat long-winded explanation for why I think the way I do.

Yeah VA ...such a class lady

...and you're right about VA..she's a doll! (even though she's a Pittsburgh fan!) hehehe

You all are too kind, too. I need to make a copy of this and send it to my brother, he'll never believe it!

Maybe VA was sitting at her computer, throwing her hands up in the air in disgust, every time I questioned a Glenn/DonH motive, but she never let on to me that did.

I wasn't doing that at all!

On this particular topic, we've only had one side presented to us, and even that was just what the publisher printed. I was more vocal than what I intended with my opinion in the book thread and have zero wish to state it again. Perhaps I'll have a different opinion once both parts of the movie are made public. There are two things I have very strong opinions on. 1) None of them were perfect or blameless in any of it and 2) They are still the best band EVER.