Don Felder in the Press/Blogs/etc.

[WalshFan88]

I don't think any of them are sensitive souls. After surviving nearly fifty years in a dirty business they must have thick skins.

I never stated or thought they were, I was referring to VA's comment about how being too direct is a problem for people like me - who isn't thick skinned or broad shouldered (outside of a physical nature).

[L101]

I agree with what Chaim said, and since I'm very much a fan of the direct approach, I'm a bit baffled with all those who don't see Felder's approach for what it was and continues to be. On the other hand, it is possible to be too direct (or so I'm told).

I agree with VA and Chaim here - I find it funny regarding those who say that Henley/Frey need to apologize to Felder for how they treated him and yet ignore how he treated Henley/Frey for years - working with people who cause tension like that either deliberately or not is not easy - I have worked with someone like Felder and had to move jobs in the end.

I have great admiration for Henley/Frey, especially Frey for keeping it together for so long and not playing to Felder's game.
I also agree about using the direct approach - it might not be nice to hear, but at least everyone knows where they stand.
Both sides have their issues and with hindsight, I'm sure they would have done certain things differently. But a lot of time has passed, so its time to move on to new things.....

[VAisForEagleLovers]

It's odd that we're having this discussion. I overheard my mother talking to some cousins about me, and she actually said that while I have a lot more tact than others in the family and will take a lot of "crap" from others, I also make it pretty clear when someone has crossed a line. She then said something along the lines of me making sure they get back across the line. Since this is the way I am, perhaps I'm imagining things that Glenn is more or less the same way. I can't handle all the drama associated with people who want me to tiptoe through tulips to get a point across. A simple statement from me will usually be just that, but walking around things until I get lost and frustrated brings out the b*tch in me. Even worse is when someone does something wrong and then acts like I'm the one who screwed up. When I am the one who screws up, if someone doesn't tell me directly, chances are really good I'll never even guess someone might be upset with me, or if I do, I'll have no idea why.

Enough about me, but it should give some insight to whoever reads this on why the way Felder treated Glenn and Don is like someone running their fingernails down a chalkboard to me. Neither side was perfect in it, of course, because no one is perfect.

The Golden Rule is a good guideline, treating others as you yourself want to be treated, but when it gets to the nitty gritty of personal relationships, people don't want me to treat them the way I want to be treated...they want me to treat them the way they want to be treated, and that applies to everyone. Since we're all vastly different, is it any wonder it's so difficult sometimes to all get along?

[Funk 50]

Apology, really?, Seems to me that Frey & Henley owe him an apology for the way they spoke of him in HOE documentary, most especially Glenn, who sounded like a kid in a schoolyard fight. The HOE tour would have been a lot better if Felder was included & would have been a TRUE HISTORY of the band.

The major exclusion during the HOTE tour was/is Randy. You can't have the TRUE HISTORY without him.

I've always had the impression that Don(F) is quite willing to build bridges with his former band mates, whereas Glenn and Don will need some serious persuasion, so it's up to Felder to be humble enough to make the first move ie. publicly apologise.


Here's part of a Classic Rock, pre LROOE (and pre Felder's book) interview by Paul Elliott that's been unpublished until 12 months ago:

There has, however, been a change in the Eagles’ line-up recently. Guitarist Don Felder is out. Can you explain why?

Don Henley: Not really. I’ll say this: it’s something that’s been coming for quite a long time. There has been unrest for many years now, and it finally got to the point where it was intolerable. And the new Eagles – I think the band will be more creative. I think this will spark a whole new round of songwriting and bring back some joy and camaraderie that has been absent for a long time. So I think it’s a very good thing for the band, both personally and creatively – musically speaking. This was certainly not the first change we’ve made. And every time we make a change, things seem to get better. We fully expect that to be the case this time. And that’s about all I can say right now. I could go on a complete rant, but…

Timothy B. Schmit: The word ‘unrest’, that’s a good one.

http://classicrock.teamrock.com/feat...gles-interview

[chaim]

I don't want to comment on which way I personally prefer. I only want to say that just because Don F hasn't used the word "a**h***" doesn't mean that he's been less harsh about Glenn.

[Topkat]

IMO Glenn didn't say worse things in the doc about Don F than Don said about Glenn in the book or - especially - later in interviews. The only difference is that Glenn was straight about it, whereas Don did it in a more subtle (and clever!) manner. Glenn actually used the word "a**h***", whereas Don's "honest, gentle and innocent" approach was designed to make people go "Glenn, that a**h***!" without him having to say it.
Just my opinion.

Have to disagree with you. The documentary had much more exposure than Felder's book. And yes, a lot of people remarked, that I never knew Glenn was such a jerk. You can be straight on a matter without using A..H.... It only made him look foolish.

I don't think Don was playing innocent, that is just his way. He didn't want to look like an idiot in his description of what went down. He admitted in the book to a lot of mistakes he made during his life.
It's all under the bridge now, but the Eagles should take advice from their own song & "Get Over It"

[UndertheWire]

I think too much is made of one word. It seems that terms like a*hole and worse have been common usage within the band for decades. It seems pretty mild to me. Perhaps people should try listening to some british bands!

[sodascouts]

I'm not big fan of the word but I too was shocked and how so many people went ballistic over it. It's not as if the Eagles is the only band with discord, and I have heard band members from other bands say much uglier things about each other.

I think people who are offended were upset because they felt bad for Felder more than the word itself, though. Any insulting term would have been unacceptable. What other bands say about each other is irrelevant because those other bands weren't talking about Felder.

Some people don't like to hear about such conflict unadorned - they'd rather it be toned down for public consumption, and I understand that. It's hard to hear harsh things said. Glenn didn't tone down his words and people can judge for themselves whether or not they find that to be a good thing. Certainly Felder tones down things when he's talking about his own behavior - mistakes are always accompanied by justifications: he only cheated on his wife because beautiful women were throwing themselves at him and no man could reasonably be expected to resist that; his leaving his wife was her fault because she was too wrapped up in her business, etc.

To be fair, though, some don't seem to believe Felder is doing much toning down of his behavior or language unless he's being tactful; they do not perceive what he said as justifications but rather applaud him for admitting to doing anything in the first place. Yes, the facts that he had sex with groupies and left his wife were already common knowledge, but some believe it was still brave of him to acknowledge these facts. Yes, every reader expected to hear about the groupies and many bought the book for such salacious tales, but he could have lied about it and said he never cheated, and it's quite admirable that he admitted to it.

Some genuinely believe he always is completely honest, even when he contradicts himself or contradicts known facts. Some believe such contradictions are understandable mis-rememberings. Some genuinely believe he held nothing back and that he has done or said nothing worse than what he has revealed to us, at least with regard to the Eagles. Some genuinely believe he has no agenda but to communicate the real truth about the Eagles to the people. Some genuinely believe his left handed compliments are sincere attempts to be nice. Some genuinely do not recognize any subtle digs. They think other fans are imagining them.

I realize I am speaking in generalities and that there are Felder fans who do not buy into all of these concepts. However, this is the overall impression I get from the multitude of posts we've had about it from various people over the years since the documentary.

Note: I edited this post because I felt I was being too harsh; I have a bad habit of posting things in haste and then belatedly realizing that they might hurt people's feelings, which I don't want to do. I respect that there are a lot of good people who do not share my perspective on Felder's comments. If you saw an earlier version that offended you, I apologize.

[VAisForEagleLovers]

I guess for me it comes down to the fact that none of them were perfect in it. When I bring up the fact that Felder's approach to band dynamics tended to be sneaky and underhanded, I'm not saying that Glenn's abrasive, abrupt approach is the way to go. Even though I myself prefer the more direct approach to relationship interactions, I've learned the hard way it's not always the best way. It just drives me a little crazy that Glenn did what he did and said what he said, and he gets so much grief for it, and those giving the grief seem to think Felder is an innocent party when it comes to the interactions between them all.

As I see it, Frey and Henley had a lot of tension between them, and it was getting worse. They had the same goals, the best thing for the Eagles, but their individual ideas of how to get there were different. Felder was the next most tenured member and he wanted more control, more say-so. I can totally respect that. How he went about trying to get it, I can't. To consistently side with Henley in an issue against Frey, then turn around and side with Frey in an issue against Henley, playing one off against the other is not something I can respect. He constantly needled at both of them and pushed buttons he'd learned would work. He didn't seem to care it wasn't the best thing for the Eagles. He made the huge mistake of assuming neither would figure it out. Instead of emerging the victor with one of them, Glenn put a stop to the entire thing by ending the Eagles.

Frey and Henley talk about this in interviews not too long after the Eagles split, and Joe mentions it in the documentary. With time and distance, both Henley and Frey had a pretty clear picture of what happened, and so when they reunited, while they respected Felder as a musician, they weren't going to let him anywhere near a decision making position, and they certainly had no wish to be best buds over a beer. He continued his quest for power in continuing to needle and push. He continued it for years and years. (I would even venture a guess that some of the tension between Frey and Henley was instigated by Felder, but it's a guess and not substantiated by anything other than a study of human interactions)

Regardless of whether or not Frey and Henley handled things well, and regardless of the attitude they may have given off in the documentary, I just can't see where people can look at Felder's actions and see them as innocent. I know he's admitted to doing things wrong, as Soda pointed out, and while that's admirable, he's never stood up and said, "You know, maybe I could have handled that better" when it comes to dynamics between he and Frey and Henley. I don't expect him to, actually, same as I don't expect either Frey or Henley to. However, I'd just like some acknowledgement from the Frey and Henley haters that maybe, just maybe, Felder provoked a lot of things. Maybe he's as culpable as they.

ETA: For what it's worth, a*hole is what I call my brother and SIL on a regular basis (my SIL has a ringtone that says an a*hole is calling for when I call them...we love each other). Now if Glenn had used his favorite Detroit word (the one where half the word is 'mother'), then that would have been bad...

[MaryCalifornia]

I've always thought that Glenn's comments there reflect a current bravado that he probably didn't enjoy in 1980 and maybe not even in 2001. We don't have audio of him actually saying those words to Felder's lawyers - he may have, or, he may have been paraphrasing for the doc.

My takeaway is that Felder's behavior/demands stressed out Glenn immensely in the '70s and from 1994-2001, and NOW he is able to be FREE of him. He is past it, he doesn't have to play politics or band business or keep his mouth shut. He is free to speak of Felder in any manner he wants, and his words reflects how he feels now. It was very liberating.

That was honestly one of my favorite scenes in the doc. And no, as an adult, watching a rock documentary, the a-word does not remotely offend, in any context.