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Thread: Livin' Right!

  1. #1
    Moderator Glennsallnighter's Avatar
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    Default Livin' Right!

    For those of us ladies who are constantly monitoring what we eat, and trying to lose 'those last 5 pounds' here's a little advice on the foods one should consume and how to consume them in order attain her goal

    1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it it has no calories.

    2. if you drink a diet soda with a candy bar the calories in the candy bar are cancelled by those in the diet soda.

    3. When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you don't eat more than they do.

    4. Foods used for medicinal purposes NEVER count, such as hot chocolate, Brandy, Toast and Sara Lee Cheesecake

    5. Movie related foods (Butter popcorn, Nacho's, Milk duds (?),Junior mints, Red hots, Tootsie Rolls etc) do not have additional calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of ones personal fuel.

    6. If you fatten up every one else around you, then you look thinner.

    7. Cookie pieces contain no fat because the process of breaking causes fat leakage.

    8. Things licked off knives and spoons have no calorific value if you are in the process of preparing something. Examples are peanut butter on a knife making a sandwich and icecream on a spoon making a sundae.

    9. Foods that are the same colour have the same number of calories. Examples are spinach and pistachio icecream, mushrooms and white chocolate. (Note: Chocolate is a Universal colour and may be substituted for any other food colour)

    10. Foods that are frozen contain no calories as calories are units of heat. Examples are Icecream, frozen pies and popsicles.

    11. Foods eaten watching a major event on TV do not count. Major events include Superbowl, Rugby matches, Hockey Finals, Soccer matches, Coronation Street, Jerry Springer Show.

    12. Powerbars and other type of energy bars make you thinner as it is common knowledge that only thin people can be seen eating energy bars. Ergo, they must make you thin.

    13. Snickers is classed as an energy bar (See #12)

    14. Tasting other peoples food does not add to your calorie count. Particularly true when the 'other person' is under 5 and you need to check his dessert for nuts!

    15.Containers of food that list the number of servings as greater then one are lying. Every container contains one serving. Half a gallon of icecream, box of cereal, bottle of soda, bag of chips are all one serving.

    So, Ladies, lets all start 'Livin Right'
    _________________

    mirrors on the ceiling
    pink champagne on ice
    if I ever get to meet you Glenn,
    It would it would be kinda nice!
    'I must be leaving soon... its your world now'
    Glenn Frey 1948-2016 RIP

  2. #2

    Default

    Lol, GA!!

    If only....


    www.donfelderonline.com
    ~~~~~
    This way to happiness...

  3. #3
    Stuck on the Border tbs fanatic's Avatar
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    Default


  4. #4
    Stuck on the Border Mrs Frey's Avatar
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    Default

    Brilliant, GA! I really enjoyed that!!

    I think we all need to watch Glenn's "Livin' Right" video again to remind us of reality! Seeing him in all his muscular glory should be motivation enough!


    I've got a peaceful, easy feeling
    And I know Glenn won't let me down

  5. #5
    Moderator Brooke's Avatar
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    Love it, GA!
    https://i.imgur.com/CuSdAQM.jpg
    "They will never forget you 'till somebody new comes along"
    1948-2016 Gone but not forgotten

  6. #6
    Administrator sodascouts's Avatar
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    LOL!!! That was great!!

    Always in our hearts, Never forgotten

  7. #7
    Border Rebel SweetHolly's Avatar
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    ROFLMAO!

    I really wish it was true.
    How can love survive in such a graceless age?

  8. #8
    Moderator Glennsallnighter's Avatar
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    Don't we all SH!
    'I must be leaving soon... its your world now'
    Glenn Frey 1948-2016 RIP

  9. #9
    Border Rebel SweetHolly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Glennsallnighter
    Don't we all SH!
    I seem to remember this might have been a topic at one of my WW meetings.
    How can love survive in such a graceless age?

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