Glenn Frey: Gone but not Forgotten

[GlennLover]

Thanks guys. I feel so conflicted... I want to get over it, but I don't want to get over it either, you know? I don't want to act like nothing has changed when everything has changed.

I feel like changing the banner is getting "back to normal" and that somehow feels wrong, but... we have to move on sometime... I don't know. I just don't want to let him go, but I know I have to.

I guess I just need more time. I thought a month would be enough, but I'm still crying. I want stop crying, but when I do, does that mean I'm forgetting him? I don't want to forget him.

And I feel that when the day comes when I finally do take it down, it will really be over. And I don't want it to be. Not ever.

But it already is over, isn't it?

And I'm crying again.

So... not yet.

PS Thank God that there are people here who understand and don't judge me for being so sad about the death of someone who wasn't related to me or my close friend. It really helps.

Nancy, that's just the way that I feel. I have never had so much difficulty accepting someone's death, even though I have lost both my parents & my Dad was only 56 when he died. I don't understand this.

[AlreadyGone95]

Thanks guys. I feel so conflicted... I want to get over it, but I don't want to get over it either, you know? I don't want to act like nothing has changed when everything has changed.

I feel like changing the banner is getting "back to normal" and that somehow feels wrong, but... we have to move on sometime... I don't know. I just don't want to let him go, but I know I have to.

I guess I just need more time. I thought a month would be enough, but I'm still crying. I want stop crying, but when I do, does that mean I'm forgetting him? I don't want to forget him.

And I feel that when the day comes when I finally do take it down, it will really be over. And I don't want it to be. Not ever.

But it already is over, isn't it?

And I'm crying again.

So... not yet.

PS Thank God that there are people here who understand and don't judge me for being so sad about the death of someone who wasn't related to me or my close friend. It really helps.

For Eagles fans, normal no longer exists. The thing that was the norm for over 21 years, since hell froze over, can never be brought back. What normal can we go back to? Sure, we're all going on with our own separate lives in our respective parts of the globe, but the "Eagles" norm is gone, probably forever. We don't know what to do because this horrible, sad experience is new to us.

It does seem like betrayal at first to move on, especially for someone like you, Nancy, who has created this wonderful, amazing online plethora of a forum and fan sites. You did alot for Glenn, by keeping this forum going for over 10 years now, buying his music, and seeing his shows so many times. It does seems that you'll forget about him or make him just a memory by trying to move on. Glenn will never become just a memory, not with all of the music, joy, and enrichment he brought into our lives. As we well know, he won't be forgotten about. Yes, the somewhat meager (imo) media coverage of his passing has tapered off, but it does that with every celebrity who dies. Glenn left such an impact on music history that few can match. The band that he (co)founded practically changed popular music forever, and their fan base grows bigger everyday!

Everyone reacts differently to death, and the grieving process as well. It also depends on who has died. With Glenn being so beloved and taken so quickly and unexpectedly, it takes time to process it. 7 days ago I thought that I had come to terms with it, but yesterday, it hit my harder than it had before when my nana was talking so much about death and dying. Most people never get over it. Instead, it's just acceptance, and sometimes down the road, that acceptance can be questioned. I thought that I had come to terms with my dad's death, which occured over 9 years ago, but as I've said a few times, Glenn's death has brought back up things that I had locked away deep in my brain forever, never to deal with. I'm seeing and feeling those unwanted memories in a different light because of maturity, so maybe that's helping me. Grieve however you grieve, be it crying your eyes out, taking a trip down memory lane, etc. Do whatever helps and is comforting to you. If that means leaving the memorial banner up for an indefinite amount of time, then that's fine.

Is it over? Glenn's journey on this earth is, but I don't think it's over until Glenn is no longer remembered or discussed. As long as someone cares for him and his music, it's not over. While we won't get to hear his velvet throat voice or see him play Old Black again, at least we do have the music to listen to and the videos to watch. That might not seem like much now, but in time, I think it will.


Just my 2 cents. (Sorry for the rambling)

ETA: I honestly hope that Glenn knew or now knows how much he meant to his fans.

I'm finding it so hard to use "was" or "had" instead of "is" or "has". It just doesn't seem right to use the past tense when referring to Glenn.

[Momma Tee]

I totally agree! I was out with my hubby last night watching him play pool. I was listening to the karaoke music coming from the adjacent room when I hear the familiar notes of Tequila Sunrise. Once again, I am moved to tears as I begin to sing along. I feel proud that my husband had chosen to wear his HOTE t-shirt that night proving our level of true devotion. Over the course of the evening, Hotel California and Peaceful Easy Feeling are performed as well. One nice gentleman even paid tribute to Glenn during his performance. We were able to talk about various songs and dvds that we both enjoyed. In addition, my husband receives several compliments on his shirt which gave us an opportunity to share our concert experiences with other fans. This night made me realize how much the Eagles are truly loved and appreciated. Sadly, this may be the end to an amazing era, but their music will always live on! Something so special doesn't just fade away! Their countless fans are spread far and wide across all generations which proves that they accomplished what they set out to do...create music for ALL time! Glenn and the Eagles will always be a part of my life, and that makes me very happy! ♡

[UndertheWire]

If I'd come here last week and seen a different banner, I'd have felt sad. Rather than returning to normal it would have felt like it was all over and it was wrong to continue to feel sad. It will never return to what it was so maybe one option (when it feels right) is to have a new banner.

My experience of grief is that the gaps between the sadness get longer as time goes on.

[Ive always been a dreamer]

UTW - Soda and I were talking on the phone the other night and she had mentioned going with a new banner. That may be the best thing to do although, I loved the old banner and would miss it. You know we're on an emotional rollercoaster when even changing a picture can cause such angst.

[GlennLover]

My experience of grief is that the gaps between the sadness get longer as time goes on.

That has been exactly my experience as well. Knowing this helps (slightly) as I try to deal with the grief of Glenn's passing.

[JanetteG]

Thanks guys. I feel so conflicted... I want to get over it, but I don't want to get over it either, you know? I don't want to act like nothing has changed when everything has changed.

I feel like changing the banner is getting "back to normal" and that somehow feels wrong, but... we have to move on sometime... I don't know. I just don't want to let him go, but I know I have to.

I guess I just need more time. I thought a month would be enough, but I'm still crying. I want stop crying, but when I do, does that mean I'm forgetting him? I don't want to forget him.

And I feel that when the day comes when I finally do take it down, it will really be over. And I don't want it to be. Not ever.

But it already is over, isn't it?

And I'm crying again.

So... not yet.

PS Thank God that there are people here who understand and don't judge me for being so sad about the death of someone who wasn't related to me or my close friend. It really helps.

My dear, I do not know you but what you said here is so heartfelt and so heartbreaking that I feel I want to say a few words to you. Yes, most of us here understand perfectly and, far from judging you, we feel connected to you because of our shared sadness. Your fear of bringing the curtain down forever on Glenn and all that he meant to you is very real. As long as the feelings are raw and alive, he is not quite gone.

On one of the following pages I posted some thoughts that my wonderful old mum shared about the aftermath of grief. She said that the chaotic sadness right after a loss is not the worst part. The worst part is when life goes back to normal and there is just emptiness where the person and the sadness were. We do eventually have to leave the dead behind because life wants life. And that is the most painful truth.

However, music and musicians are among the magicians of our world. By some wonderful alchemy, Glenn, his beautiful voice and music will be with us forever. The day will come when you will be able to listen to his music and not weep. Perhaps not yet but we are here for now to share your sorrow and maybe a few good stories along the way. Glenn liked stories so he would approve.

I send you my warmest wishes and thoughts - and thanks for giving us somewhere to go to express such surprisingly fierce feelings.
my own tribute to Glenn was posted on another thread but can be found here:
http://janettegriffithsonwagner.blogspot.ca

[Mrs Frey]

Janette, I just read your blog, and you write beautifully. Thank you for sharing that with us.

I only discovered the Eagles in earnest in around 2005, and Glenn in particular in 2007. But he touched my heart, to the point that I travelled all the way from Cape Town in South Africa to London, England to see him and the rest of the Eagles open their Long Road Out Of Eden tour on 20 March 2008. I had the time of my life that night, and it will be forever etched in my mind.

Glenn was a wonderful person as well as musician. He had a warm heart and appreciated his fans so much. For that alone he will have my respect and love forever.

I still haven't processed his passing. It was too much of a shock for me. I still can't believe that he's gone.

One never gets over or really moves on after someone close to one's heart passes on. One can only adapt to life without them. I guess that it's the same if one didn't know the person on a personal level. In the case of Glenn , his music became a part of our lives. As a musician and performer, his music has had a massive impact on my life. I always dreamed of being able to sing and play for him and with him. Now I have to come to terms with the sad reality that it will never happen.

Sometimes his music makes me smile, sometimes it makes me cry. I'm sure that is the case with many people who loved him and his music. All we can do is celebrate his life and work, and hold him in our hearts forever. There is no way that we can ever forget him.

Nancy, you met him on several occasions, and it will hurt for you more than most. He was your friend that you didn't see very often or on a personal level, but he was still your friend. And he thought highly of you. That is very special indeed. You have every right to grieve - take all the time you need.

This is for all of you:

[GlennLover]

I've got the house to myself tonight so I'm going to watch HotE for the first time since Jan 18. We'll see if I can make it through the whole thing.

[Prettymaid]

It's okay to cry during it, GL.