Glenn Frey: Gone but not Forgotten

[Tori]

No need to rush, Soda, keep it up for as long as you wish.

I can't believe it's been a month. It seems like life has been a blur since January 18th, really.

[Ive always been a dreamer]

Yeah - I agree about the banner. There's nothing that I know of that dictates when is the right time for this kind of thing. There is still lots of grieving and mourning going on for Glenn, so maybe it should stay around a little longer.

[AlreadyGone95]

I agree with everyone else, Soda. Change it only whenever you feel like it.

I'm tempted to change my avatar back to the Smuggler's Blues GIF I previously had, but I think that I'll wait another week or 2 at least. I don't think that I'll change my sig, though.

Every weekend, I visit my nana. She always asks me to use my phone to Google people who she knew years, if not decades, ago. Most of the time, I find online obituaries for those people. Today's visit was no exception. My nana spent most of today's visit talking about death. She talked about what happened to her parents, her siblings, her friends from long ago, her husband, and her son(my dad), how they all died and who found them dead. I realize that at her age, death is often thought about subject. Talking about death and the many different causes of death usually doesn't bother me. This time, though, I couldn't get Glenn out of my mind. It was the same thoughts that I've been having about him, but this time it was almost too much for me to handle, like an overload. I don't think that I have ever been so happy to leave my nana's house before, and take a couple of deep breaths of fresh air.

[Glennsallnighter]

I know you mentioned to me on whatsapp about changing the banner Soda - I'm glad you didn't, but obviously it up to you when you DO feel like doing it.

In the months before Glenn 's death I had started to develop a kind of midlife crisis with this whole death thing. It was becoming clear to me that I could well have lived half my life by this stage and it was starting to scare me, the idea that this thing called 'life' is not a dress rehearsal.

However since he died I have lost all fear of death. Glenn 's there and I'm sure that the day that I die I will meet him.

[L101]

I'm glad the banner is still there - at least for a little while longer.

As GA was saying about the whole fear of death - I've lost a lot of family members and friends in the last 4 years or so, 5 people in the one year.... I thought at this point, I was numb to it all but then Glenn died, and I was really surprised by how hard that hit me! But you keep busy and eventually it just gets easier......

[Witchy Woman]

Soda, there is no time limit to grieving. You take the banner down when you're ready. When Roddy Piper died, I kept my picture with him as my FB profile for almost 4 months. It hurts to lose someone who's a part of your life. And FWIW, it's a beautiful tribute to him.

[sodascouts]

Thanks guys. I feel so conflicted... I want to get over it, but I don't want to get over it either, you know? I don't want to act like nothing has changed when everything has changed.

I feel like changing the banner is getting "back to normal" and that somehow feels wrong, but... we have to move on sometime... I don't know. I just don't want to let him go, but I know I have to.

I guess I just need more time. I thought a month would be enough, but I'm still crying. I want stop crying, but when I do, does that mean I'm forgetting him? I don't want to forget him.

And I feel that when the day comes when I finally do take it down, it will really be over. And I don't want it to be. Not ever.

But it already is over, isn't it?

And I'm crying again.

So... not yet.

PS Thank God that there are people here who understand and don't judge me for being so sad about the death of someone who wasn't related to me or my close friend. It really helps.

[deb828]

Soda,
I don't know you well, but eventually you will think of him with smiles instead of tears. It doesn't mean that you have forgotten him. I agree with the posters above--take it down when you feel like it. The time frame is different for every grieving situation and every person.

[Prettymaid]

I agree with Deb. You don't want to forget, and you won't. But eventually the open sore in your heart will heal over and you will begin remembering him with smiles.

Grief is such a strange thing. Getting over it feels like a betrayal to your loved one, but at some point it's just a natural progression. We will no longer be able to talk about Glenn in present tense, but we have all of these wonderful memories, some of us more than others.

Personally, I think it's way too soon to change the banner, and I still want to come here and talk about my grief with all of you.

[JanetteG]

I, for one, am glad the banner is still up. My mother, who was a wise and wonderful woman, said of grief that often the hardest part is the quiet, still moment after the fiercest grieving is over. As long as one is actively sad, well, at least we are engaging with the memory of the person - hard as it is our thoughts of them can be very vivid. We share our sadness with others. But the time comes when we have to let them go into the mist and move on. Life wants life.

So I'm glad that we can still come here.

Like a few other people on this thread, I had lost quite a few people before Glenn's death. I think my sorrow for him helped release a lot of the other sadness. As I said on the "Remembering Glenn" thread, I usually write on classical music and opera but when Glenn died, I was taken time-travelling back to a time when The Eagles meant everything. I've written about this on my blog for any of you who haven't seen it yet http://janettegriffithsonwagner.blogspot.ca