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Thread: What's Happening In Your Life?

  1. #1351
    Border Desperado Elle81's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's Happening In Your Life?

    Quote Originally Posted by Glennsallnighter View Post
    Great to hear that things are going well for you Elle, I hope they continue to do so.

    Austin, hang in there. Are you having an Ausfest this year?

    I had a good summer, with holidays in Palermo in Italy (for a friends wedding) and then spending chunks of time in our holiday home in Galway. But as always it went Waaay too fast.
    My kids are all grown up now. I'm no longer engaged with Secondary School as a parent as my Son did his leaving Cert in June and is ready to go to Pilot college in 2023.
    So I'm back at work for another year. Its funny how the work always expands to fit the time available to it but the time never seems to expand to fit the work that has to be done. Hopefully another 5 or so years should see me through to retirement so I'm trying to get my 'pension ducks' in a row!!

    Hope everyone else here is doing well!
    Thanks, GA. And congrats on your son!

  2. #1352
    Stuck on the Border WalshFan88's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's Happening In Your Life?

    Elle - glad to hear things have been a little better.

    As someone with severe depression, anxiety, and OCD I can attest to the fact that medication is a mixed bag and very hit or miss. I'm particularly prone to paradoxical reactions where you take something for a problem and it makes the problem way worse. Especially with depression. And although I'm not bipolar or manic-depressive, some medications can push me into that if I'm not careful and that's not something I normally ever deal with. I mean I cannot take melatonin because I have hallucinations and delusions that are like the movie A Beautiful Mind or what is referred to as Schizophrenia. I never have trouble with that but basically we found out because some of my structural brain abnormalities from birth are where melatonin is naturally made, taking extra for sleep regulation actually caused psychosis and I felt like I had a chip inside of me and was being tracked by the government. And it was just an over the counter sleep aid. I have an abnormal hypothalamus which is where that chemical is made and basically taking more of it caused my brain to go haywire. For depression I've had the best effect from Effexor and Remeron which is a powerful combination used only for resistant cases of severe depression. For anxiety/OCD I take BuSpar and a half a milligram of Haldol. It's the only thing I've found to help other than psychotherapy and frankly at times just hanging on.

    The next thing I'm on the list to try for depression is Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation - which is a relatively new treatment that involves placing magnets around the brain to reactivate the part of the brain that is asleep with depression. As a family my folks and I have decided I will never do Electroconvulsive Therapy. We are just really worried about the memory loss and my physical health issues possibly making that more risky. Only if I was suicidal and nothing was working would we ever go there with that one. There is also Ketamine therapy which is something you go and get IV's of a medication called Ketamine but sadly we are in a rural area and that is not offered here. Just ECT or TMS.

    -------

    GA - We are not having Ausfest this year sadly.

    We just moved and have sold off the house and the property and cabin where we always held Ausfest. Our plan is to try to put something together at my grandparents barn perhaps next late summer/early fall and do it then. It will be a big change. I still have the memories though. We had a good run of 2010-2019. We didn't do anything in 2020 or 2021 because of COVID being so deadly but we had almost a decade of fun every single year and that means a lot to me. We will get together again in a different place and I'm sure it will be fun also. The last couple years have been hard for me and part of it is missing jamming at Ausfest and gigging out with the guys in the summer. I really hope 2023 will be the restart of Ausfest and we can still have the big crowds and big fun we did for a long time. If not, it was a good run and it was something I will always cherish!

  3. #1353
    Border Desperado Elle81's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's Happening In Your Life?

    Quote Originally Posted by WalshFan88 View Post
    Elle - glad to hear things have been a little better.

    As someone with severe depression, anxiety, and OCD I can attest to the fact that medication is a mixed bag and very hit or miss. I'm particularly prone to paradoxical reactions where you take something for a problem and it makes the problem way worse. Especially with depression. And although I'm not bipolar or manic-depressive, some medications can push me into that if I'm not careful and that's not something I normally ever deal with. I mean I cannot take melatonin because I have hallucinations and delusions that are like the movie A Beautiful Mind or what is referred to as Schizophrenia. I never have trouble with that but basically we found out because some of my structural brain abnormalities from birth are where melatonin is naturally made, taking extra for sleep regulation actually caused psychosis and I felt like I had a chip inside of me and was being tracked by the government. And it was just an over the counter sleep aid. I have an abnormal hypothalamus which is where that chemical is made and basically taking more of it caused my brain to go haywire. For depression I've had the best effect from Effexor and Remeron which is a powerful combination used only for resistant cases of severe depression. For anxiety/OCD I take BuSpar and a half a milligram of Haldol. It's the only thing I've found to help other than psychotherapy and frankly at times just hanging on.

    The next thing I'm on the list to try for depression is Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation - which is a relatively new treatment that involves placing magnets around the brain to reactivate the part of the brain that is asleep with depression. As a family my folks and I have decided I will never do Electroconvulsive Therapy. We are just really worried about the memory loss and my physical health issues possibly making that more risky. Only if I was suicidal and nothing was working would we ever go there with that one. There is also Ketamine therapy which is something you go and get IV's of a medication called Ketamine but sadly we are in a rural area and that is not offered here. Just ECT or TMS.

    -------

    GA - We are not having Ausfest this year sadly.

    We just moved and have sold off the house and the property and cabin where we always held Ausfest. Our plan is to try to put something together at my grandparents barn perhaps next late summer/early fall and do it then. It will be a big change. I still have the memories though. We had a good run of 2010-2019. We didn't do anything in 2020 or 2021 because of COVID being so deadly but we had almost a decade of fun every single year and that means a lot to me. We will get together again in a different place and I'm sure it will be fun also. The last couple years have been hard for me and part of it is missing jamming at Ausfest and gigging out with the guys in the summer. I really hope 2023 will be the restart of Ausfest and we can still have the big crowds and big fun we did for a long time. If not, it was a good run and it was something I will always cherish!
    I'm taking BuSpar too! and Zoloft, and a sleep med that sadly has been giving me nightmares. However they're not as bad as the nightmares that I had while on Trazodone earlier this summer. So, progress!

  4. #1354
    Stuck on the Border WalshFan88's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's Happening In Your Life?

    Quote Originally Posted by Elle81 View Post
    I'm taking BuSpar too! and Zoloft, and a sleep med that sadly has been giving me nightmares. However they're not as bad as the nightmares that I had while on Trazodone earlier this summer. So, progress!
    Unfortunately I don't get along with any SSRIs - which is what Zoloft is. I've tried SSRIs which actually cause me to become suicidal, and I've tried tricyclic and MAOIs which did nothing for me. SNRIs are the best thing for me and that's what Effexor is. I also do well with Remeron which is in its own class of medication called NASSA's. I also don't do well with the anticonvulsant/antiseizure medications or the newer atypical antipsychotic meds. The older typical antipsychotic meds like Haldol are ok and I don't use them for that but rather as a mild sedative for anxiety because I can't take benzodiazepines also because of suicidality. So my range of meds I can take are very limited. BuSpar is in it's own class called anxiolytics. I do good with that one. I tried propanolol which is a beta blocker blood pressure medication used for off label anxiety and it caused me to have an asthma attack so that was a no go. I also tried Atarax which is an allergy medication and it didn't do anything good or bad. My next medication to try is for OCD and that is Namenda, which is actually designed for dementia patients. There is an off label use for treatment resistant OCD and I'm going to be starting that one soon. The list of stuff I haven't tried or classes of medications I can take are dwindling fast. Namenda is one of the last ones I can try that I haven't done yet. I'm really hoping for some relief. I have OCPD too, which is often comorbid with OCD. Slightly different sides of the same coin basically. Basically I tend to fixate on things and can't redirect my mind off of them.

  5. #1355
    Border Troubadour FreyFollower's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's Happening In Your Life?

    Thinking of you, WF, and hoping they will soon find the right mix to work for you!
    "Be part of something good--
    Leave something good behind."

  6. #1356
    Stuck on the Border WalshFan88's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's Happening In Your Life?

    Thank you, FF!

  7. #1357
    Border Desperado Elle81's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's Happening In Your Life?

    Quote Originally Posted by WalshFan88 View Post
    Unfortunately I don't get along with any SSRIs - which is what Zoloft is. I've tried SSRIs which actually cause me to become suicidal, and I've tried tricyclic and MAOIs which did nothing for me. SNRIs are the best thing for me and that's what Effexor is. I also do well with Remeron which is in its own class of medication called NASSA's. I also don't do well with the anticonvulsant/antiseizure medications or the newer atypical antipsychotic meds. The older typical antipsychotic meds like Haldol are ok and I don't use them for that but rather as a mild sedative for anxiety because I can't take benzodiazepines also because of suicidality. So my range of meds I can take are very limited. BuSpar is in it's own class called anxiolytics. I do good with that one. I tried propanolol which is a beta blocker blood pressure medication used for off label anxiety and it caused me to have an asthma attack so that was a no go. I also tried Atarax which is an allergy medication and it didn't do anything good or bad. My next medication to try is for OCD and that is Namenda, which is actually designed for dementia patients. There is an off label use for treatment resistant OCD and I'm going to be starting that one soon. The list of stuff I haven't tried or classes of medications I can take are dwindling fast. Namenda is one of the last ones I can try that I haven't done yet. I'm really hoping for some relief. I have OCPD too, which is often comorbid with OCD. Slightly different sides of the same coin basically. Basically I tend to fixate on things and can't redirect my mind off of them.
    Good luck, dude!

  8. #1358
    Border Desperado Elle81's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's Happening In Your Life?

    Yesterday was a such bad day.

    First, to start the day off, I woke up in a sweat from a horrible nightmare about my former roommates. Then I had gone to the store to buy some sprouts for the hotel christmas party and the store did not have the brand I had got last time. And so then I get back to the hotel and relaxed for a bit. Unfortunately I had forgotten that the public transit system had switched the times for the busses and I ended up being 30 minutes late for work. I texted my boss because I figured it was the right thing to do. He asked if this is going to be a common thing. I was hurt by that comment because I am rarely ever late. So then I get to the University for the basketball game that I was working, just to find out that we were grossly overstaffed. So in all honesty it wouldn't have hurt them if I was late. Me being there was not a dire need. Then when I got back to the hotel, I find out that our rent is getting raised due to a high electric bill. When last month, we got notices on all kitchens and bathrooms to leave the lights on constantly. And now the church that runs this hotel is penalizing us for their actions.

    It just seems like too much all at once. I am in tears, just trying to hold it all together. I think I just need to go back home to California. I have work later today and I'm going to listen to some music to try and calm me down before I go.

  9. #1359
    Stuck on the Border WalshFan88's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's Happening In Your Life?

    I'm so sorry to hear this Elle. My best wishes to you.
    -Austin-
    Resident Guitar Slinger
    Fan of the Eagles from 1972-2016 #NOGLENNNOEAGLES

    RIP Glenn Frey and Randy Meisner

    "So often times it happens that we live our lives in chains and we never even know we have the key..."


  10. #1360
    Border Desperado Elle81's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's Happening In Your Life?

    Quote Originally Posted by WalshFan88 View Post
    I'm so sorry to hear this Elle. My best wishes to you.
    Thanks, dude. The day actually did get better. I worked a DisneyJR performance at U of U's Kingsbury Hall and it was so fun watching these little kids go crazy for Spiderman, Doc Mcstuffins, and of course mickey mouse.

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