UTW, I'm sure you are right about direct donations often being more profitable for a charity than benefits. I have seen costs of fund raisers actually leave a deficit when all is tallied.
On the "Family and Friends" topic---I don't see a problem with actual family being included in the stage band or even featured briefly. I would enjoy seeing them, and it would make it seem more like a special event. It's only two shows. The guys have good taste---I don't think it would be gratuitous or cheesy.
Any of their friends would be fine with me as long as they didn't take up too much of the show. Mostly I am glad they are not billing as simply Eagles.