Department Of Witty Repartee

[peneumbra]

Anyone who knew Glenn Frey, or who had spent time around him, knew that he had a somewhat… twisted, let's say, sense of humor.

Typical of this was a conversation between Frey and Don Henley, back in the On The Border days, during rehearsals for an upcoming tour. Henley complained of not feeling well - maybe a slight chest pain or something related to an oncoming cold, but nothing serious.

Except that Glenn Frey knew that Don had a very slight case of hypochondria. Again, no big deal, but…

FREY: "Really, Don, you look fine."
HENLEY: "Yeah, I feel, I feel pretty good."
FREY: "Doesn't look like anything. Probably nothing serious, anyway."
HENLEY: "Huh? What? Do I look like I'm sick or something?"
FREY: "Well, no, Don, I mean… it's probably just the light in here. They're (messing) around with the stage lights, so I think it's just---"
HENLEY: "Jesus Christ, just… Man, don't do that! I'm fine, OK?"
FREY: "Absolutely! Lookin' good! We COULD have Dr. ----- come over, y'know, just to be sure, but really---"
HENLEY: "Oh, man, forget it! I'm, I'm… OK, I'm sweating a little, but…"

Well, you get the idea. Frey had this very subtle, and very clever sense of what would get somebody's goat. He did this with everybody, including me, but, years later, I got him back...:smokin:

[Pippinwhite]

Love it. Snork.
:lol:

(So how'd you get him back?)

[Dawn]

Thanks! Love that story! No doubt about it, Glenn was hilarious and very quick with the jokes and witty-isms (my word lol)

Per an interview Seger did, Cindy Frey told him Glenn was the love of her life and that both Cindy and Taylor have a great sense of humor. Funny story about being in the White House and Cindy saying she knows what Glenn would say ... " Uh oh, the gypsies are here hide the silverware".

Oh how I miss Glenn.

[East Texas Girl]

Too funny!! I would like to hear how you got Glenn back as well. And what he did to you, peneumbra.

[New Kid In Town]

Do tell, what did Glenn do to you and how did you get him back?

[peneumbra]

When you're out touring, you have to find little diversions, or else you'll go completely nuts. Imagine waking up at noon every day in a sterile hotel room that looks just like yesterday's hotel room but in a different city. You awake, and for those first few seconds, you don't know where you are; you only know that the air conditioning is on full blast to cover the noise of the normal folks thumping down the hallway to check out at eight in the morning.

So it's sort of natural for bands and crews to play a few pranks on one another; just harmless fun. Like ordering massive quantities of room service for someone who has just retreated to his room with a young lady for a night of, say, discussing the merits of stamp collecting.

There they are, two new friends trying to get "comfortable" with each other, and there is a knock on the door. Which keeps up, insistently, annoyingly, until the victim opens said door only to find several waiters bearing massive amounts of food. It takes them perhaps 20 minutes to set up and arrange all of this; the food remains hot, but the mood of the occupants has cooled considerably.

And just when things are beginning to heat up again, here are the waiters, coming to collect the tables, trays, linens, etc., taking another 20 minutes. Hotel staff can be very helpful, particularly if they're well-tipped in advance.

Ever open your hotel door and find yourself facing a brick wall? Probably not, but the road crew of a certain group, finding themselves bored one evening, decided to practice their masonry skills on one of the band member's hotel room portal.

This took a few (very) late-night hours and the cooperation of hotel security, but when the task was finished, it was a magnificent construction - a perfect brick wall filling the entire doorway.

So it came to pass that, when the occupant opened his door the next day, he was faced with a solid wall of red brick. There was a moment of silence - what, really, COULD you say about something like that - and then prolonged cursing, combined with muffled threats of dark forms of revenge.

The perpetrators of this modest prank were enjoying all this from their chairs out in the corridor. After a couple of minutes, the clean-up crew (hired the day before) came by to remove everything, but by then, a good time had been had by everybody. Well, almost everybody.

Fast forward to years later. Frey's first solo album had been released, and he was out touring to support it. By this time, I was working for a concert promoter in northern California, and it so happened that Glenn was one of a number of acts on the bill.

Because the outdoor venue for this date was in a fairly rural location, the two-lane highway that was the only way in and out was totally blocked before, during, and after the show. In order to get bands, crews, and honored guests in and out of this place, we had to use helicopters; I was tasked with making sure that the right people got on the right helicopters.

I had been the "recipient" of an occasional Glenn Frey prank back when I was working for The Eagles - I'd once attempted to lift my suitcase only to find that it had been filled with lard - so I figured it was time for payback.

Glenn had finished his set to great applause from the 20,000 or so spectators, and, after visiting with some of the other musicians and drinking a couple of glasses of champagne, was now ready to board the helicopter to go to the airport to catch a flight to the next gig on his tour.

He was not fond of helicopters, having heard too many grim stories about airborne accidents. So he was a bit dismayed when he approached the craft and saw the pilot standing next to it - a pilot wearing dark glasses and carrying a white cane with a red tip. The pilot had a huge grin on his face and was tap-tap-tapping his cane on the ground.

Glenn was visibly affected by this: he sort of staggered, like he'd been hit in the chest by one of those rubber bullets the riot cops use. "No, man! Don't do this! Oh Gawd…" I remember he was wearing this lime green suit, and thinking, "Gee, it's amazing how his face is turning the same color as his suit!"

Of course, the "pilot" with the blind guy getup was not really the pilot, but just one of our stage crew guys. The real pilot (Soren Jensen, a famous movie stunt pilot and a wonderful person) came out and took over. After a few tense moments - for him, not for me - Glenn got ahold of himself.

But he was still looking a little "unwell" as I loaded him into the Jet Ranger. He knew, of course, that this was merely a little token of my affection for him, and all the little "got-ya's" that he had so cleverly thought up over the years.

And I had one further little gift, just to jog his memory: there, on the seat directly in front of his, was a five-pound can of lard...:rockguitar:

[tac0mao6]

who was the victim of the :brickwall: .. mortared or just stacked?
what on earth did they do to deserve that? or was it a totally random thing?

thanks for another entertaining recap
:rofl:

here’s another fun recap from joe walsh/doobie bros 1991 tour
http://www.alkooper.com/oldcolumns05.html

[Pippinwhite]

@Pen -- Was reading this to the hubs and we were both cracking up in the Waffle House! Thanks for the anecdotes! Love them!

[peneumbra]

In answer to Tac0mao6's question, I really don't want to name the recipient of The Wall - some things should remain private.

The bricks were not mortared together - the hotel staff was friendly but not THAT friendly - but merely stacked. To hold them together, you just take some gaffer's tape and use it on the outside of the bricks to hold everything in place. Well, so I've been told.

And as to why this particular unfortunate was chosen? Simple: he was there...:drunk:

[East Texas Girl]

That's hilarious, peneumbra!! :rofl: I can only imagine that everyone was looking over their shoulders in those days wondering who would be next!

[peneumbra]

Well, ETG, you didn't want to spend TOO much time looking over your shoulder: you might walk into a brick wall...:mrgreen:

[peneumbra]

Glenn Frey's Haircut (An Aside)

Being of a certain age, I was surprised when I saw that Frey had gotten his hair cut short - this was around the time the first solo album was released. He showed up to one of our dates with his short hair, looking very… movie-star-like, very current. Totally up-to-date.

Naturally, I couldn't let him get away with this without a few… supportive comments.

"Oh, hi," I said when he arrived at the venue. "You must be Glenn Frey's dad. Or… wait: you're his uncle Mort, right? He told me you looked a lot like him, only way older…"

He smiled, nodding his head and getting that look on his face that said, "OK, A--hole, we're gonna have an interesting weekend." This was par for the course - if you were going to dish it out, you had to be able to take it.
"All seriousness aside, Glenn," I went on, "it looks great. So, um, how ARE things in the Mormon Church these days?"

(No harm intended to any of you LDSers out there. I knew a guy who was a bishop, and he looked just like Leon Russell…):grin:

[New Kid In Town]

Glenn Frey's Haircut (An Aside)

Being of a certain age, I was surprised when I saw that Frey had gotten his hair cut short - this was around the time the first solo album was released. He showed up to one of our dates with his short hair, looking very… movie-star-like, very current. Totally up-to-date.

Naturally, I couldn't let him get away with this without a few… supportive comments.

"Oh, hi," I said when he arrived at the venue. "You must be Glenn Frey's dad. Or… wait: you're his uncle Mort, right? He told me you looked a lot like him, only way older…"

He smiled, nodding his head and getting that look on his face that said, "OK, A--hole, we're gonna have an interesting weekend." This was par for the course - if you were going to dish it out, you had to be able to take it.
"All seriousness aside, Glenn," I went on, "it looks great. So, um, how ARE things in the Mormon Church these days?"

(No harm intended to any of you LDSers out there. I knew a guy who was a bishop, and he looked just like Leon Russell…):grin:

Cute story ! From pictures I have seen, Glenn first got his hair cut shorter in 1978 but still had the 'stache. In late '78/79, he had the haircut without the mustache. I liked both looks but prefer the hc that was on The Long Run album. He looked great with that haircut.

[tac0mao6]

the guys were champion chameleons early on .. long hair, short(er) hair, mustaches and beards and clean shaven. below is a pic from ‘74 showing Glen with short hair. Randy’s is long and Bernie is rocking shorts in the Miami heat.

[Freypower]

the guys were champion chameleons early on .. long hair, short(er) hair, mustaches and beards and clean shaven. below is a pic from ‘74 showing Glen with short hair. Randy’s is long and Bernie is rocking shorts in the Miami heat.

His hair wasn't short in that photo, unless you consider shoulder length to be short.

[New Kid In Town]

the guys were champion chameleons early on .. long hair, short(er) hair, mustaches and beards and clean shaven. below is a pic from ‘74 showing Glen with short hair. Randy’s is long and Bernie is rocking shorts in the Miami heat.

I remember an old interview with Glenn from the 80's. He said they reason they changed their looks all the time and were only on one album cover was because they did not want people to know what they looked like. He thought it made them "mysterious" and gave them the privacy they wanted. No Beatlemania for them.

[Pippinwhite]

I always figured Glenn liked the long hair thing since it was so popular, but as thick as his hair was, it was probably darned uncomfortable at those outdoor concerts, so he'd cut it, then grow it out, then cut it again. I suspect when he finally whacked it all off in '80 or so, it was so much easier to keep, he just decided to keep it short. I liked the length he had it for the HFO tours.
(And let's face it: saying you change your look for the mystery of it sounds a heck of a lot cooler and more hip than, "I've got a ton of hair and got tired of dealing with it." LOLOLOL. Even if there is some truth to the mystery angle.)

[East Texas Girl]

Loving your stories, peneumbra, keep them coming!!