I am sure that any YouTube footage will be posted.
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I am sure that any YouTube footage will be posted.
I'll look for it, AF.
Thank you so much Soda.Quote:
Originally Posted by sodascouts
Been thinking about Glenn all day, as many of us are, and playing his music. "Ol' 55" just played. I remember reading once that there was a theory that song was about death (we discussed it a while back here) and it seemed just about every lyric fit. I'll never hear that song the same way again.
The first time I heard that song after Glenn's passing, I thought of how some of the lyrics fit a person who has just died. The "mood" of that song is a bit melancholy to me as well.Quote:
Originally Posted by sodascouts
I totally agree. There were a lot of songs I wasn't too familiar with as I grew up knowing most of the big hits off the greatest hits albums or which ones were my parents favorites. "Ol' 55" was one of the ones I didn't know and I was listening to it a couple weeks ago and it was spooky to me as I thought the same thing.
A month. It feels like so much longer to me.
I thought I should change the banner back after a month but I'm finding it difficult to do.
It's the opposite for me. It feels like it has been 2 weeks at most. My brain still fully am won't accept that he's gone.
When I logged in tonight & saw the banner I was thinking that I was glad it was still there & I hoped it would be for some time yet.Quote:
Originally Posted by sodascouts
Just wait until you're ready, Soda. :heart:Quote:
Originally Posted by sodascouts
No need to rush, Soda, keep it up for as long as you wish. :)
I can't believe it's been a month. It seems like life has been a blur since January 18th, really.
Yeah - I agree about the banner. There's nothing that I know of that dictates when is the right time for this kind of thing. There is still lots of grieving and mourning going on for Glenn, so maybe it should stay around a little longer.
I agree with everyone else, Soda. Change it only whenever you feel like it.
I'm tempted to change my avatar back to the Smuggler's Blues GIF I previously had, but I think that I'll wait another week or 2 at least. I don't think that I'll change my sig, though.
Every weekend, I visit my nana. She always asks me to use my phone to Google people who she knew years, if not decades, ago. Most of the time, I find online obituaries for those people. Today's visit was no exception. My nana spent most of today's visit talking about death. She talked about what happened to her parents, her siblings, her friends from long ago, her husband, and her son(my dad), how they all died and who found them dead. I realize that at her age, death is often thought about subject. Talking about death and the many different causes of death usually doesn't bother me. This time, though, I couldn't get Glenn out of my mind. It was the same thoughts that I've been having about him, but this time it was almost too much for me to handle, like an overload. I don't think that I have ever been so happy to leave my nana's house before, and take a couple of deep breaths of fresh air.
I know you mentioned to me on whatsapp about changing the banner Soda - I'm glad you didn't, but obviously it up to you when you DO feel like doing it.
In the months before Glenn :heart:'s death I had started to develop a kind of midlife crisis with this whole death thing. It was becoming clear to me that I could well have lived half my life by this stage and it was starting to scare me, the idea that this thing called 'life' is not a dress rehearsal.
However since he died I have lost all fear of death. Glenn :heart:'s there and I'm sure that the day that I die I will meet him.
I'm glad the banner is still there - at least for a little while longer.
As GA was saying about the whole fear of death - I've lost a lot of family members and friends in the last 4 years or so, 5 people in the one year.... I thought at this point, I was numb to it all but then Glenn died, and I was really surprised by how hard that hit me! But you keep busy and eventually it just gets easier......
Soda, there is no time limit to grieving. You take the banner down when you're ready. When Roddy Piper died, I kept my picture with him as my FB profile for almost 4 months. It hurts to lose someone who's a part of your life. And FWIW, it's a beautiful tribute to him.
Thanks guys. I feel so conflicted... I want to get over it, but I don't want to get over it either, you know? I don't want to act like nothing has changed when everything has changed.
I feel like changing the banner is getting "back to normal" and that somehow feels wrong, but... we have to move on sometime... I don't know. I just don't want to let him go, but I know I have to.
I guess I just need more time. I thought a month would be enough, but I'm still crying. I want stop crying, but when I do, does that mean I'm forgetting him? I don't want to forget him.
And I feel that when the day comes when I finally do take it down, it will really be over. And I don't want it to be. Not ever.
But it already is over, isn't it?
And I'm crying again.
So... not yet.
PS Thank God that there are people here who understand and don't judge me for being so sad about the death of someone who wasn't related to me or my close friend. It really helps.
Soda,
I don't know you well, but eventually you will think of him with smiles instead of tears. It doesn't mean that you have forgotten him. I agree with the posters above--take it down when you feel like it. The time frame is different for every grieving situation and every person.
I agree with Deb. You don't want to forget, and you won't. But eventually the open sore in your heart will heal over and you will begin remembering him with smiles.
Grief is such a strange thing. Getting over it feels like a betrayal to your loved one, but at some point it's just a natural progression. We will no longer be able to talk about Glenn in present tense, but we have all of these wonderful memories, some of us more than others.
Personally, I think it's way too soon to change the banner, and I still want to come here and talk about my grief with all of you.
I, for one, am glad the banner is still up. My mother, who was a wise and wonderful woman, said of grief that often the hardest part is the quiet, still moment after the fiercest grieving is over. As long as one is actively sad, well, at least we are engaging with the memory of the person - hard as it is our thoughts of them can be very vivid. We share our sadness with others. But the time comes when we have to let them go into the mist and move on. Life wants life.
So I'm glad that we can still come here.
Like a few other people on this thread, I had lost quite a few people before Glenn's death. I think my sorrow for him helped release a lot of the other sadness. As I said on the "Remembering Glenn" thread, I usually write on classical music and opera but when Glenn died, I was taken time-travelling back to a time when The Eagles meant everything. I've written about this on my blog for any of you who haven't seen it yet http://janettegriffithsonwagner.blogspot.ca
Nancy, that's just the way that I feel. I have never had so much difficulty accepting someone's death, even though I have lost both my parents & my Dad was only 56 when he died. I don't understand this. :headscratch:Quote:
Originally Posted by sodascouts
For Eagles fans, normal no longer exists. The thing that was the norm for over 21 years, since hell froze over, can never be brought back. What normal can we go back to? Sure, we're all going on with our own separate lives in our respective parts of the globe, but the "Eagles" norm is gone, probably forever. We don't know what to do because this horrible, sad experience is new to us.Quote:
Originally Posted by sodascouts
It does seem like betrayal at first to move on, especially for someone like you, Nancy, who has created this wonderful, amazing online plethora of a forum and fan sites. You did alot for Glenn, by keeping this forum going for over 10 years now, buying his music, and seeing his shows so many times. It does seems that you'll forget about him or make him just a memory by trying to move on. Glenn will never become just a memory, not with all of the music, joy, and enrichment he brought into our lives. As we well know, he won't be forgotten about. Yes, the somewhat meager (imo) media coverage of his passing has tapered off, but it does that with every celebrity who dies. Glenn left such an impact on music history that few can match. The band that he (co)founded practically changed popular music forever, and their fan base grows bigger everyday!
Everyone reacts differently to death, and the grieving process as well. It also depends on who has died. With Glenn being so beloved and taken so quickly and unexpectedly, it takes time to process it. 7 days ago I thought that I had come to terms with it, but yesterday, it hit my harder than it had before when my nana was talking so much about death and dying. Most people never get over it. Instead, it's just acceptance, and sometimes down the road, that acceptance can be questioned. I thought that I had come to terms with my dad's death, which occured over 9 years ago, but as I've said a few times, Glenn's death has brought back up things that I had locked away deep in my brain forever, never to deal with. I'm seeing and feeling those unwanted memories in a different light because of maturity, so maybe that's helping me. Grieve however you grieve, be it crying your eyes out, taking a trip down memory lane, etc. Do whatever helps and is comforting to you. If that means leaving the memorial banner up for an indefinite amount of time, then that's fine.
Is it over? Glenn's journey on this earth is, but I don't think it's over until Glenn is no longer remembered or discussed. As long as someone cares for him and his music, it's not over. While we won't get to hear his velvet throat voice or see him play Old Black again, at least we do have the music to listen to and the videos to watch. That might not seem like much now, but in time, I think it will.
Just my 2 cents. (Sorry for the rambling)
ETA: I honestly hope that Glenn knew or now knows how much he meant to his fans.
I'm finding it so hard to use "was" or "had" instead of "is" or "has". It just doesn't seem right to use the past tense when referring to Glenn.
I totally agree! I was out with my hubby last night watching him play pool. I was listening to the karaoke music coming from the adjacent room when I hear the familiar notes of Tequila Sunrise. Once again, I am moved to tears as I begin to sing along. I feel proud that my husband had chosen to wear his HOTE t-shirt that night proving our level of true devotion. Over the course of the evening, Hotel California and Peaceful Easy Feeling are performed as well. One nice gentleman even paid tribute to Glenn during his performance. We were able to talk about various songs and dvds that we both enjoyed. In addition, my husband receives several compliments on his shirt which gave us an opportunity to share our concert experiences with other fans. This night made me realize how much the Eagles are truly loved and appreciated. Sadly, this may be the end to an amazing era, but their music will always live on! Something so special doesn't just fade away! Their countless fans are spread far and wide across all generations which proves that they accomplished what they set out to do...create music for ALL time! Glenn and the Eagles will always be a part of my life, and that makes me very happy! ♡
If I'd come here last week and seen a different banner, I'd have felt sad. Rather than returning to normal it would have felt like it was all over and it was wrong to continue to feel sad. It will never return to what it was so maybe one option (when it feels right) is to have a new banner.
My experience of grief is that the gaps between the sadness get longer as time goes on.
UTW - Soda and I were talking on the phone the other night and she had mentioned going with a new banner. That may be the best thing to do although, I loved the old banner and would miss it. You know we're on an emotional rollercoaster when even changing a picture can cause such angst. :grouphug:
That has been exactly my experience as well. Knowing this helps (slightly) as I try to deal with the grief of Glenn's passing.Quote:
Originally Posted by UndertheWire
My dear, I do not know you but what you said here is so heartfelt and so heartbreaking that I feel I want to say a few words to you. Yes, most of us here understand perfectly and, far from judging you, we feel connected to you because of our shared sadness. Your fear of bringing the curtain down forever on Glenn and all that he meant to you is very real. As long as the feelings are raw and alive, he is not quite gone.Quote:
Originally Posted by sodascouts
On one of the following pages I posted some thoughts that my wonderful old mum shared about the aftermath of grief. She said that the chaotic sadness right after a loss is not the worst part. The worst part is when life goes back to normal and there is just emptiness where the person and the sadness were. We do eventually have to leave the dead behind because life wants life. And that is the most painful truth.
However, music and musicians are among the magicians of our world. By some wonderful alchemy, Glenn, his beautiful voice and music will be with us forever. The day will come when you will be able to listen to his music and not weep. Perhaps not yet but we are here for now to share your sorrow and maybe a few good stories along the way. Glenn liked stories so he would approve.
I send you my warmest wishes and thoughts - and thanks for giving us somewhere to go to express such surprisingly fierce feelings.
my own tribute to Glenn was posted on another thread but can be found here:
http://janettegriffithsonwagner.blogspot.ca
Janette, I just read your blog, and you write beautifully. Thank you for sharing that with us.
I only discovered the Eagles in earnest in around 2005, and Glenn :heart: in particular in 2007. But he touched my heart, to the point that I travelled all the way from Cape Town in South Africa to London, England to see him and the rest of the Eagles open their Long Road Out Of Eden tour on 20 March 2008. I had the time of my life that night, and it will be forever etched in my mind.
Glenn :heart: was a wonderful person as well as musician. He had a warm heart and appreciated his fans so much. For that alone he will have my respect and love forever.
I still haven't processed his passing. It was too much of a shock for me. I still can't believe that he's gone.
One never gets over or really moves on after someone close to one's heart passes on. One can only adapt to life without them. I guess that it's the same if one didn't know the person on a personal level. In the case of Glenn :heart:, his music became a part of our lives. As a musician and performer, his music has had a massive impact on my life. I always dreamed of being able to sing and play for him and with him. Now I have to come to terms with the sad reality that it will never happen.
Sometimes his music makes me smile, sometimes it makes me cry. I'm sure that is the case with many people who loved him and his music. All we can do is celebrate his life and work, and hold him in our hearts forever. There is no way that we can ever forget him.
Nancy, you met him on several occasions, and it will hurt for you more than most. He was your friend that you didn't see very often or on a personal level, but he was still your friend. And he thought highly of you. That is very special indeed. You have every right to grieve - take all the time you need.
This is for all of you: :grouphug:
I've got the house to myself tonight so I'm going to watch HotE for the first time since Jan 18. We'll see if I can make it through the whole thing.
It's okay to cry during it, GL. :grouphug:
...good luck...:-(Quote:
Originally Posted by GlennLover
It seems like Glenn's still part of trying to make the world a better place ...
http://abcnewsradioonline.com/music-...him-reass.html
Quote:
Sammy Hagar Says Recent Rock Star Deaths Have Made Him Reassess His Feud with Eddie Van Halen
abcnewsradioonline.com
There's been no love lost between Sammy Hagar and Van Halen's Eddie Van Halen since the Red Rocker parted ways with the group in 2005, but Hagar says that the recent passing of such fellow rock stars as David Bowie and Glenn Frey has prompted him to reassess his feelings toward his old band mate.
Speaking to reporters at a recent Grammy Week event, Sammy said about the many musicians who have died recently, "Honestly, it's blowing my mind, 'cause all these guys are my age, some were even younger." He then declared, "It just makes you stop and think that, you know, with my relationship with Eddie Van Halen…that's been always in the toilet, it makes you say, "I don't want to be buried with any regrets or any bad vibes like that."
Hagar added, "It makes you want to just be friends with everybody and say, 'Hey look, forget it. Even if you don't want to be in a band together…let's be friends.' No more enemies for me."
Asked whether his change of heart means that he's now considering working with Van Halen again, Sammy explained, "No, no, it's just the way I'm working in my head…You can't reach out to someone that's not open, but I'm saying it's where my heart is."
Summing up his feelings, Hagar said, "You don't want to go to your grave with enemies. So…that's what [the deaths of Bowie, Frey and others have] done for me, and it woke me up and said, 'No more enemies'…And before I die I won't have any, if I have my way."
Sammy's reaction to the recent series of music stars' deaths could explain his recent decision to reach out via Twitter to Eddie on the guitar legend's 61st birthday on January 26.
Hagar tweeted, "Happy Birthday Eddie -- hope you're doing good," and attached a photo of the two of them playing guitar onstage together. Van Halen responded with his own tweet that said, "Thanks Sammy. Hope you're well too."
I'm now in what I call the "resentment stage". It's when everyone starts to get on with their lives and I begin to resent it. I know it's perfectly normal - it's the same as resenting your in-laws because they're still alive and your parents aren't. It's partly triggered by hearing that Joe and Don have plans for future shows and it sinks in that there will never be any more news for Glenn. The best we can hope for a mention in interviews when former members are promoting their tours, or possibly a new song dedicated to him. Or if we're really, really lucky, maybe something will be released from the vaults.
After a death, the first few weeks are quite exciting as well as being very sad. There are new sensations, an intense focus on the person who has died and the people who were close. And then it's over and as Bernie put it, "we who must remain go on living just the same."
I'm hoping Joe puts the song he wrote for Glenn in his show. It might be hard for him to sing since he broke down as he was singing it.
...exactly...Quote:
Originally Posted by UndertheWire
Well said UTW and I'm feeling a little of that too. I still feel very sad at times, but it is getting better in the last week or so. For me, I know life will return to a more normal state, but it will be a 'new normal'. I think there will always be a little part of me missing now. Because of that, mostly, I don't want to completely let go. I think the way I'm dealing with it is by trying to keep Glenn's memory alive here on The Border. Reading and writing about him and his life are cathartic for me because it helps me unlock those suppressed emotions.
Yeah, I feel it, too.Quote:
Originally Posted by UndertheWire
I think I'm in the anger stages. because its the whole thing of him being still so young and with everything that was wrong with him he still could have been here. with proper care. he was very much active and wanted to do all these things. I blame whatever medications he was on. sounds childish but if only they didn't have such bad effects on the body. why the hell would they tell you that you will feel so much better after taking this or that pill but things get ten times worse. not just with Glenn but everyone that had to rely on this stuff. bottom line I think it could have been prevented. He did not have to leave like that...
Ah yes, this is the toughest, loneliest part, I think, because we all move on at a different rate - and truth be told - in many ways we don't want to move on. As I have said elsewhere "life wants life" but it is so very sad to have to release our grasp on the person who is gone. You expressed this so eloquently when you said 'there will never be any more news for Glenn'. That sums up the emptiness of this phase. If it is any comfort many of us know exactly how you are feeling. An ex-boyfriend of mine watched the Eagles documentary repeatedly after Glenn's death but this week has put it away and is no longer interested in anecdotes, relistening to the music etc. He has moved on.Quote:
Originally Posted by UndertheWire
I found one small, sweet consolation. We have just returned from a stay in a log cabin in the Canadian wilderness. The only picture on the wall was of an eagle, gazing down at me. When we checked into a B&B back in town, the only print was of an eagle. A small comfort.
It's the same with me too. I've been having others still wondering why I'm still going through this, so I have scaled back a lot from posting about Glenn and the Eagles on my social media accounts. That's why I'm glad I still have places like here where others understand.