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Thanks, FF. I have been calling and talking to a lot of people, and have gotten on some lists for government subsidies, and affordable housing waitlists. I think my best bet is to find a place that doesn't require credit checks.Quote:
Originally Posted by FreyFollower
I'm glad your sister is doing better! Wishing good luck with finding housing.Quote:
Originally Posted by Elle81
Well today is my birthday and I am typing this from a room at a very loud Motel 6. There are dogs barking and fighting all the time and the people in the next room over are constantly arguing. But at least I'm not on the street. I have the room for a week and then I don't know where I'll be. I hope I can get into some kind of emergency shelter.
Please take care and know that we are here if you need to talk.Quote:
Originally Posted by Elle81
Thank you and I know I can always count on someone here to talk to. That's why I love y'all. :grouphug:Quote:
Originally Posted by WalshFan88
I was able to talk to a coworker and she agreed to let me stay at her house on Monday night. I did get a call back from an apartment that said they had a unit available and that they don't do co-signers. So I just need to ask the bank for a loan as my bank accounts are currently not high enough to afford the rent and application fee. And I'm going to go meet with the manager on Tuesday and fill out the proper application. Hopefully I'll get it.
Good to hear!Quote:
Originally Posted by Elle81
Best of luck with the Apartment Elle. I hope you got it.
Today, we are driving 4 hours, back to my hometown region of the Inland Empire. We're staying at an Airbnb tonight, and tomorrow I am going to have a heart ablation procedure. For years I've had SVTs (tachycardia). I'm finally going to get it taken care of!!!
But...the most exciting part, is tonight!!! Raincross Drive (our local band with Glenn's cousin, Kelly) is playing a free concert, and we'll be there!!
Hoping all went well for you, MJ! Here's to an easy and speedy recovery!👍Quote:
Originally Posted by MarthaJo56
So glad you had perfect timing and got to see Kelly and his group while there.😁
MJ - Wishing you a quick recovery. So glad you were able to enjoy Raincross before your surgery. Take care.Quote:
Originally Posted by MarthaJo56
Thanks everyone! I am home and healing well. It was a simple procedure, but still very traumatic.
Raincross drive was incredible as always My friend Jana & I were chatting with Kelly for a bit. He said "I'm gonna tell you a secret. Glenn Frey is my cousin". We told him we knew already. I was going to ask him if they were close etc. but my friend Jana is very chatty and I barely got word in edge-wise. I don't know if this will work, but I'll try. It's a video that Jana sent me this morning. https://www.facebook.com/100001016895315/videos/328905119324304/
Attachment 2653
If not openable, I have this one that I took that night...if I can load it. If not here's a couple of new pics of me & Kelly. I'll keep trying with the videos. :):):)
Attachment 2651Attachment 2652
Glad to hear everything went well MJ56!
That stuff is nothing to mess around with. Any kind of heart arrythmia like SVT, A Fib, QT prolongation, etc is something to get treated. It's one thing to have some extra beats like PVCs or PACs or have a bundle branch block. Dad and I both have right BBB's so I know where I got it from! But so many people only think of the structural issues of the heart like heart attacks, congestive heart failure, valves, etc. That's only one side of the story that is the heart. You think of echocardiograms and heart catheterizations and and open heart surgery, etc. The electrical system is just as important and can be just as deadly if suddenly that abnormal rhythm turns into something worse like V Tach or V Fib which can kill someone so fast. Thankfully with the advent of ablations, medications, pacemaker/defibrillators, cardioversions, etc these electrical conditions are treatable.
12 lead EKGs in my humble opinion should be included as part of your yearly physical. Most of the time they aren't, but I think they should be. If you are getting blood drawn, you should also get an EKG. And compare them year over year. Any changes are significant when you have a new finding not on prior EKGs. EKGs should never change, especially on a year-over-year basis. Once you're an adult, your EKG should remain stable. Any change to the waveform has to be addressed. Especially sneakier things like prolongation of the QT interval. Because that can cause sudden drop death with Torsades de Pointes, a type of sudden V Tach. Related to it is things like the Brugada Syndrome and Long QT syndrome. In some people, it's genetic and congenital and it's caught early. In others, it can be coming from some medications you take and that is downright scary!
I think these Apple Watches will be a great big help for us in detecting people with underlying electrical heart disorders. Will it feed some level of hypochondriasis in some people obsessively running the EKG function looking for something that isn't there, sure, but the 5 or 6 that go in for "nothing" for every one with an actual problem will be worth the hassle if you can find one person with a life threatening abnormality and potentially save their life. Until EKGs are more annually administered, my hope is that the smartwatches will help us in getting more and more people accurately diagnosed, informed, and treated. And hopefully someone on the Android/Google side will step up to the plate for those out there who don't use an iPhone. Android smart watches can tell your pulse but the EKG and abnormal rhythm detection is nowhere near as good yet. I hope they catch up soon. That's just more people that can potentially find out they have a problem. Because Apple Watches do require an iPhone.
Glad to hear you are healing well, MJ. And great timing to get to see Raincross Drive. I couldn't get the link to work, but I love your pictures with Kelly.
Well, it's been a bit since I've posted an update. My life is a bit of a mess right now. My physical health has been hanging in there but unfortunately my mental health is not ok or should I say wasn't ok. I've been really struggling for a while now and so I thought I'd share in case others might benefit from hearing about it or not feeling alone. For years I felt like I was the only one who felt the way I did, something I learned isn't true.
Unfortunately, about a month ago I hit a really low point in my life that seemingly came on a bit unexpectedly. No major upset or loss. But I was feeling worsening anxiety, worsening OCD, and needed to check with my psychiatrist and my therapist for a tune up to say the least. Along the way I got put on some new medication and adjusted doses of current ones. One of the new ones tried sent me on a spiral to what had been the lowest depression I had had since the last time I was in the hospital (I've been twice for suicide attempts) which would have been in high school and I'm now 33. I was narrowly able to keep from getting admitted to the hospital because my family could watch me continuously for 24 hours while I was able to abruptly stop that medicine and get the suicidal thoughts to stop before having to be admitted if that didn't work. Luckily the medicine wore off and I went back to the doctor and was ok to continue with home care and my other meds. Unfortunately, some less than desirable down-in-the-dumps negative pessimistic (and frankly irrational and untrue) thoughts and feelings and some lack of interest/pleasure continued but I was no longer feeling suicidal/in crisis. I'm now feeling much better but still not 100 percent back to where I was before I started that anxiety medication.
The problem is - anxiety/OCD and major depression require two very different medications. What works for psychosis, mania, anxiety, or OCD is very different than what works for depression, catatonia, etc. And if you're unfortunate enough to have both, you know that delicate balance well. The old phrase "robbing Peter to pay Paul" comes to mind. Anxiety often requires what I'll call the "downers" or things to slow your mind down, lower your excitability, etc. Well as you might figure, depression needs things that do the opposite. They need some uppers or things that lift you up, get your neurons firing more, and put some spunk in your step. Unfortunately, either medication can cause the other problem to appear and boy howdy did it. The problem is I was getting so anxious that I was having meltdowns and periods where I felt like I was way overreacting, and I was desperate for a new treatment despite having tried so many drugs before. I don't respond super great to psychotherapy and so a lot of this is strictly medication management and therapy visits are just a place to vent rather than try to change my mind on things which doesn't go real great despite trying my best and have been for the past 20 plus years. So, I am now trying a different medication for anxiety, and I've been on it about a week, and I can say that while my anxiety isn't perfect, this medication isn't making me suicidal and it is helping it seems, if only just a little bit.
For those unaware, I'm also on the autism spectrum, despite the high functioning realm. I have what used to be classed as Asperger's Syndrome, now known as High Functioning Autism. Coupling that with major depression, anxiety, and OCD means that I'm a tough nut to crack and it requires a lot of work on the part of me, my family, and the psychiatrist to keep me feeling well just like I very much rely on medical doctors like my endocrinologist or my internal medicine doctor or any other specialists to keep my physical health in check with my panhypopituitarism and making sure my bloodwork is always as it should. It's always a struggle from every angle being me, but I know I'm not alone and I'm grateful to have the family I do and the support network in place I do that keeps me safe from physical and mental calamities. Mental health is still health. Period. And while I'm grateful to not have something as severely debilitating or dangerous day-to-day as say, schizophrenia or manic-depressive/bipolar disorder, major depression and anxiety and OCD are still a major problem for a lot of people in the world and definitely can cost you quality of life like a medical condition could. But there is treatment. I'm proof not everything works but in the face of adversity, keep trying to get better anyway.
Lastly, while at home hanging out, I watched some Eagles DVDs. After all it was the Eagles who saved my life with Hotel California back in the day. And I have to say watching Hell Freezes Over and Farewell 1, I was feeling better. It was good therapy and encouraged me to get my guitar out.
Take care of yourselves out there,
-Austin/WF88
WF: I am so sorry with all you have been suffering through lately. I'm sure it has been overwhelming. The human mind is so complicated, and difficult to treat. I have a close relative on the Autism spectrum. They have never been able to get meds right where they don't have extreme anxiety and explosive emotional breakdowns. So frustrating, upsetting, and exhausting. My mom has long tried different anxiety/depression/OCD drugs with mixed results. Over 20 years ago she had a brain tumor. Now she is 85 with rather bad dementia, and the DR. recently doubled her meds for that. But with her different issues, knowing what problems are causing what difficulties, and what medication needs adjusting is a mess.
I can certainly understand how terrible everything has been for you lately. I'm so glad you are better, and you keep seeking solutions and fighting! You are a very strong person, and we believe in you! Music is a wonderful oasis for the mind. I hope it continues to encourage you in your journey. My thoughts and prayers are with you!:hug:
Thank you, FF.
It's been a real struggle for my mental health the last few years it seems but this year it has seemingly starting coming off the tracks and so it's something I had to take care of. Unfortunately in the process to get better I had to take some things that made me very unwell in another way but the tides are turning back. I still have tremendous worrying, anxiety, and stress but I have to be careful what I take to combat that. Hopefully soon I will be able to find something that is safe and that works for me. Fingers crossed.
Austin - I'm sorry for the slow response, but my board time has been very limited lately. As always, I wish you the best. Please take care of yourself and make sure that you get as much help as you need. Hugs and prayers for you.
Thank you for the update, Austin. By sharing the details of your menal and physical health, you give me greater knowledge - and hopefully - understanding of the world. For example, I had never really thought about the difference between anxiety and depression and that the treatments were opposite but after your explantion it seems obvious. I wouldn't have guessed that you were high-functioning austistic but I do know other people with this diagnostic and it's certainly not the first thing you would think of when you meet them. One of them wasn't diagnosed until she was in her 50s!
I hope you manage to find a good balance with all these conditions and treatments.
Thanks Dreamer and UtW.
It's a lot to handle at once and seemingly out of control, but I'm really hoping for a brighter future soon. Then again I feel I've been saying that even before COVID was a thing and lord knows that didn't help matters any. Seems like ever since 2019 my life has been pretty low. It's hard to be overly optimistic when you've seen year-after-year not much improve if not things getting worse at times. That said, I know in the big picture there are certainly people worse off than me. Does it make my symptoms and troubles go away no it doesn't. Does it make you not feel so alone and feel grateful for what I do have going for me, absolutely. I feel about 80 percent of my life that was tainted was done at birth with the health problems I was given that are life long calamities. The rest of it is a combination of school bullying, general life struggles, etc. I feel only a very small part, maybe 5 or 10 percent is actually something I can do something about. Which can feel destitute and hopeless, but remembering those children dying with cancer or those who are homeless and starving sure put things in a better and more grateful perspective. It doesn't make my suffering any less, but there are certainly those with even more than I.
I'm sorry you have to deal with so much, Austin. Hang in there! Big hugs to you. I'll be thinking about you and sending prayers and love.Quote:
Originally Posted by WalshFan88
Thanks so much, Soda.Quote:
Originally Posted by sodascouts
WF
So much to deal with. I saw you said how listen to the music help. I like to listen to Joe speaking at the Ohio AA meeting. For some reason I find it relaxing. While I did have the alcohol problem in the 70's -90's and at times couldn't remember driving home from Hollywood sometimes who I saw. It was almost like it went with the music scene
I find listening Joe just talking openly about all his problems, sometimes with some humor and other times very serious really helps me keep it together. It's like just hearing the sound of his voice helps. I quit drinking in 1990, but it's something you live with and have to watch for the rest of your life. As I'm sure you have to do too
I'm not that good with putting words down so I hope you get my meaning
I pray you keep fighting. Power and Strength to you.
Bonnie (Scamp)
PS here's the link in case you want to listen to him I know I've posted it here but save you looking for it
https://fstrecovery.com/2020/07/16/e...ng-aa-speaker/
WalshFan, I'm so sorry to hear about what you've been going through. I used to work with someone who also had a hard time finding a balance of medication for different conditions. After a few months her doctors found something that worked for her and she's doing much better now. Sending good thoughts your way - I hope things get better for you soon!
I haven't been on here much lately...I've developed tendonitis in my arm/elbow and typing can be really painful sometimes. I watched Almost Famous tonight and realized how much I miss talking to you all! I hope everyone here is doing well.
groupie2686
I know your pain. I had it in my left elbow, and I'm right handed. Hit my elbow every time I pushed a door open, couldn't even raise my hand and push my glasses up. Funny thing was it didn't bother me riding my motorcycle but I couldn't bring my hand up to unzip my jacket. I could carry things with my left arm but couldn't lift with it. It really affected my first three fingers and my thumb. Work related so they sent me to the doctor and he gave me a cortisone shot twice and didn't work. He told me when I find the exact spot mark it with a pen and call him. I did and he got me in right away and gave me another shot. It hit the spot and I could feel it right away. It was almost instant relief. 25+ years later and still no problems. Have you tried cortisone? Hope you get better. I know how painful it can be. "Tennis elbow" without playing tennis.
If I known then what I know now, I would had a hell of a lot more fun. Get better...
Hey, Groupie! Hope your arm is on the mend! I've missed you, too! And I also hope everyone is OK. So many long time regulars have been missing. Sometimes days with nary a post. Wishing everyone well, and hope life's downers and challenges soon pass!:grouphug:
I will always be your friend
You are not alone
---Glenn
Hi Groupie - Missed you ! Hope your elbow is starting to feel better. I have suffered from "tennis elbow" too. Hurts like anything. I have had cortisone shots(not for the elbow though) and they worked well for me. Fell better !Quote:
Originally Posted by groupie2686
Austin, I have not been here very often lately, so I hope that you are feeling better and your doctors have been able to find medications that are working for you.
Thanks everyone! I haven't had a cortisone shot yet - I heard it can damage the tendon long term - but I'm getting to the point where I'm willing to try it. It's my right arm and I'm right handed so it makes even everyday things painful sometimes. Thanks for the good thoughts everyone!
Groupie - I'm sorry to hear you are dealing with that. Before I had both my hips replaced I had to try a steroid injection in each of them first. The first set lasted a month or so, the second did nothing and we went on to surgery. Thank you for the kind words.
NKIT - Thank you very much. I'm still in a low spot but I'm "maintaining" as best as I can. I'm definitely not as low as I was, but I still feel somedays of the week that living isn't worth it anymore. My folks and my family keep me around. :)
Hello Everyone!
Long time no hear from, huh?
Life Update: Boy is it good to be back on the border! It's been a crazy couple of months. I was able to get into a transitional housing hotel and I'm there for six months. and after those six months, my case is reevaluated and if I pass with flying colors I can stay longer. My biggest problem with getting my own place has been my credit, which I am slowly working on fixing. I am very grateful for this place and the manager and other tenants are super nice.
Work is going very well. I am working a lot of conventions and concerts and thankfully because it's now Fall, collegiate sport is back. So I will be working a bunch of football for both U of U and BYU.
My health is ok. I have been going to see a therapist who has been incredibly helpful. He put me on meds to combat my depression and anxiety, and it's been hit or miss with them. The fires in the west have made my asthma worse. But thankfully I have rescue inhalers and am still on Advair to help me breathe without asphyxiating, Lol.
I was a bit sad to hear the Fastlane facebook page is ending, however I quickly joined the facebook group "Eagles appreciation group" that L and M started, and it's been a nice substitute.
I have missed you all here on the border, I hope everyone is well. I don't have wifi where I am, but luckily the library is literally on the next corner. So I'll be coming here quite a bit and keep y'all updated.
Great to hear that things are going well for you Elle, I hope they continue to do so.
Austin, hang in there. Are you having an Ausfest this year?
I had a good summer, with holidays in Palermo in Italy (for a friends wedding) and then spending chunks of time in our holiday home in Galway. But as always it went Waaay too fast.
My kids are all grown up now. I'm no longer engaged with Secondary School as a parent as my Son did his leaving Cert in June and is ready to go to Pilot college in 2023.
So I'm back at work for another year. Its funny how the work always expands to fit the time available to it but the time never seems to expand to fit the work that has to be done. Hopefully another 5 or so years should see me through to retirement so I'm trying to get my 'pension ducks' in a row!!
Hope everyone else here is doing well!
Thanks, GA. And congrats on your son!Quote:
Originally Posted by Glennsallnighter
Elle - glad to hear things have been a little better.
As someone with severe depression, anxiety, and OCD I can attest to the fact that medication is a mixed bag and very hit or miss. I'm particularly prone to paradoxical reactions where you take something for a problem and it makes the problem way worse. Especially with depression. And although I'm not bipolar or manic-depressive, some medications can push me into that if I'm not careful and that's not something I normally ever deal with. I mean I cannot take melatonin because I have hallucinations and delusions that are like the movie A Beautiful Mind or what is referred to as Schizophrenia. I never have trouble with that but basically we found out because some of my structural brain abnormalities from birth are where melatonin is naturally made, taking extra for sleep regulation actually caused psychosis and I felt like I had a chip inside of me and was being tracked by the government. And it was just an over the counter sleep aid. I have an abnormal hypothalamus which is where that chemical is made and basically taking more of it caused my brain to go haywire. For depression I've had the best effect from Effexor and Remeron which is a powerful combination used only for resistant cases of severe depression. For anxiety/OCD I take BuSpar and a half a milligram of Haldol. It's the only thing I've found to help other than psychotherapy and frankly at times just hanging on.
The next thing I'm on the list to try for depression is Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation - which is a relatively new treatment that involves placing magnets around the brain to reactivate the part of the brain that is asleep with depression. As a family my folks and I have decided I will never do Electroconvulsive Therapy. We are just really worried about the memory loss and my physical health issues possibly making that more risky. Only if I was suicidal and nothing was working would we ever go there with that one. There is also Ketamine therapy which is something you go and get IV's of a medication called Ketamine but sadly we are in a rural area and that is not offered here. Just ECT or TMS.
-------
GA - We are not having Ausfest this year sadly.
We just moved and have sold off the house and the property and cabin where we always held Ausfest. Our plan is to try to put something together at my grandparents barn perhaps next late summer/early fall and do it then. It will be a big change. I still have the memories though. We had a good run of 2010-2019. We didn't do anything in 2020 or 2021 because of COVID being so deadly but we had almost a decade of fun every single year and that means a lot to me. We will get together again in a different place and I'm sure it will be fun also. The last couple years have been hard for me and part of it is missing jamming at Ausfest and gigging out with the guys in the summer. I really hope 2023 will be the restart of Ausfest and we can still have the big crowds and big fun we did for a long time. If not, it was a good run and it was something I will always cherish!
I'm taking BuSpar too! and Zoloft, and a sleep med that sadly has been giving me nightmares. However they're not as bad as the nightmares that I had while on Trazodone earlier this summer. So, progress! :hilarious:Quote:
Originally Posted by WalshFan88
Unfortunately I don't get along with any SSRIs - which is what Zoloft is. I've tried SSRIs which actually cause me to become suicidal, and I've tried tricyclic and MAOIs which did nothing for me. SNRIs are the best thing for me and that's what Effexor is. I also do well with Remeron which is in its own class of medication called NASSA's. I also don't do well with the anticonvulsant/antiseizure medications or the newer atypical antipsychotic meds. The older typical antipsychotic meds like Haldol are ok and I don't use them for that but rather as a mild sedative for anxiety because I can't take benzodiazepines also because of suicidality. So my range of meds I can take are very limited. BuSpar is in it's own class called anxiolytics. I do good with that one. I tried propanolol which is a beta blocker blood pressure medication used for off label anxiety and it caused me to have an asthma attack so that was a no go. I also tried Atarax which is an allergy medication and it didn't do anything good or bad. My next medication to try is for OCD and that is Namenda, which is actually designed for dementia patients. There is an off label use for treatment resistant OCD and I'm going to be starting that one soon. The list of stuff I haven't tried or classes of medications I can take are dwindling fast. Namenda is one of the last ones I can try that I haven't done yet. I'm really hoping for some relief. I have OCPD too, which is often comorbid with OCD. Slightly different sides of the same coin basically. Basically I tend to fixate on things and can't redirect my mind off of them.Quote:
Originally Posted by Elle81
Thinking of you, WF, and hoping they will soon find the right mix to work for you!:heart:
Thank you, FF!
Good luck, dude! :grouphug:Quote:
Originally Posted by WalshFan88
Yesterday was a such bad day.
First, to start the day off, I woke up in a sweat from a horrible nightmare about my former roommates. Then I had gone to the store to buy some sprouts for the hotel christmas party and the store did not have the brand I had got last time. And so then I get back to the hotel and relaxed for a bit. Unfortunately I had forgotten that the public transit system had switched the times for the busses and I ended up being 30 minutes late for work. I texted my boss because I figured it was the right thing to do. He asked if this is going to be a common thing. I was hurt by that comment because I am rarely ever late. So then I get to the University for the basketball game that I was working, just to find out that we were grossly overstaffed. So in all honesty it wouldn't have hurt them if I was late. Me being there was not a dire need. Then when I got back to the hotel, I find out that our rent is getting raised due to a high electric bill. When last month, we got notices on all kitchens and bathrooms to leave the lights on constantly. And now the church that runs this hotel is penalizing us for their actions.
It just seems like too much all at once. I am in tears, just trying to hold it all together. I think I just need to go back home to California. I have work later today and I'm going to listen to some music to try and calm me down before I go.
I'm so sorry to hear this Elle. My best wishes to you.
Thanks, dude. The day actually did get better. I worked a DisneyJR performance at U of U's Kingsbury Hall and it was so fun watching these little kids go crazy for Spiderman, Doc Mcstuffins, and of course mickey mouse.Quote:
Originally Posted by WalshFan88