What's Happening In Your Life?

I used to be really chatty here, but life has kind of gotten in the way. I'm sorry I haven't been around much lately.

For the past few months, we've been talking and researching and have decided , that after being back in California for 5 years, it's time to move back to Vermont. Our daughter is there, and is going through some stuff. She has a great husband, but needs her Mom & Dad.
We're going to buy a house because rents are so high everywhere. This will be only the 2nd house we have ever bought. The first one was over 30 years ago!!
Our living situatiion right now is really no bueno. We are renting from my sister and are isolated in the desert. The closest affordable grocery store is over an hour away. The dust storms are awful and the water is poisoned with arsenic.
But it's for real now. We put a deposit down for the movers who will be coming on May 26th.
Thankfully, we'll be able to see Raincross Drive one more time in February and say goodbye to friends. :o
We love California. It is our true home, but we just can't anymore. We can check out anytime, but we can never leave...and never will. :heart::heart:

Hey, MJ, good to hear from you! I understand how your decision was difficult. But if you feel moving is something you need to do, I don't think you'll regret doing so. I hope your daughter's difficulties are soon resolved, and you can simply enjoy one another.:grouphug:
Although not the best circumstances; due to your current living arrangement, etc., certainly there will be many ways the move will be a blessing to you.
So glad you'll get to see your bud, Kelly, and his band again, and say goodbye to friends. You never know, your road may lead back to California someday!
I hope your ticker is doing well now! Better get checked before the arduous trip cross country! Let us hear from you!

MJ - ditto to everything FF said. Hope your move goes smoothly and keep us posted.

Sorry for the late reply, MJ, but best wishes on your move. I just visited California over Christmas break and woah, is it crazy expensive there! I'm sure your daughter will be so glad you have you closer. Good luck in Vermont!

MJ - good luck on your move. I am sure things will work out. I know how crazy expensive it is in Cali. I have cousins who live there and a couple have moved(Texas & Az.) because it is so expensive there. I am happy to hear you will be able to see RD one more time before you move. I have been to Vermont and it is a beautiful state. Good luck on the move and take care. Let us know how things work out.

Good luck with the move MJ! I know a lot of people who have moved to my area from CA and other west coast states because it's so expensive there.

I'm sorry I haven't been on here much. I sprained my wrist right before Thanksgiving and between that and the tendonitis in my arm that I already had, typing or using the phone is really painful. Its my right wrist & arm and I'm right handed, so it's hard to not be using it. A day of computer use at work is so painful at the end of the day, so I try not to use a computer or phone as much as possible the rest of the time. It's an injury to the tfcc, has anyone had an experience with that? I've been told it takes several months to heal.

Hi Groupie - I am so sorry to hear about your sprained wrist. Wishing you a quick recovery.
I sprained my left wrist years ago and it took forever to heal. I had to use a wrist brace and it was difficult to type all day long. I have CTS in both wrists and was supposed to have the surgery for my left hand and than Covid hit and the surgery was called off. I have had tennis elbow for years(left elbow) and that hurts like hell when it acts up. I have to use the elbow brace then. Jezz, it sucks getting older !

About 8 - 10 years ago, I was having problems with a very painful right knee, a bone spur at the back of my heel, and, also, my wrists and arms. After several treatments and cortisone shots, I was told that surgery was my last resort. I went home and did some research and found that physical therapy might be an option. When I asked the orthopedist about it, his exact words were "Well, we can try it out and see." So that's what I did - it took several months of therapy, but by strengthening my muscles, it eventually worked. I still do some of the exercises I learned in therapy to this day and have remained pain-free ever since. Definitely worth checking out. It sure made a believer out of me.

Thanks, all! I've been to physical therapy for my arm tendonitis but I might have to go for my wrist too. I was told not to move my wrist but how do you not do that - so many every day things like doing dishes, turning door knobs, clearing snow off my car, etc can make it flare up again just when it starts to feel better. It's so frustrating!

MJ - best of luck with the move! Good to see you.

Groupie - so sorry to hear about your wrist. As someone who is no stranger to health issues I sympathize with you. They can take it out of you.

Thank you, WF. It certainly hasn't been easy!

Hope everyone is keeping well. We are in the last few weeks of our school tem here in Ireland and looking forward to the summer holidays. It has been a very busy year but on a positive note I got 2 promotions (nothing for 25 years then 2 almost together. I hope everyone is living their best life out there! Love to you all.

Glad you checked in GA. And a huge congrats on your promotions. Now go and enjoy your summer!

Congrats, GA! I'm glad they finally realized your worth!:applause:

Congratulations also to all graduating this month!:thumbsup:

Congrats GA. I'm happy for you. Hope you are well!

Just an update on me. Things have been going mostly ok around here.

My dad had hip replacements, one in January and one at the beginning of this month. He is doing well. Probably not too many sons beat their dad to getting their hips replaced but I had both of mine done in 2015, one in August and one in November. What's even better is we both had the same surgeon. The surgeon told us while he had done hips in really young people (I was 27), he had never done the son before the dad! :hilarious: I'm used to being the outlier though when it comes to medical issues. Such is the life of living with rare conditions.

My mental health struggles have been picking back up but that's to be expected. I tend to ebb and flow between feeling pretty happy and not so happy. Right now I'm the latter but I'm still seeking newer treatments and have had mixed results. My physical health is kind of a mess also. My neck has really been hurting me the last couple years and in the last year my range of motion has really gone downhill so I had an MRI which showed a lot of issues so I'm seeing a spine surgeon in August to talk about options. Of course that stuff compounds the mental health struggles.

I'm really needing a vacation or getaway and to get back to more things. While no longer staying at home whenever possible, I'm still not up to my usual activities post-pandemic. I really need to get back with the guys and play some live shows again. I know they have been playing again for about a year now and I just need to get my head on straight about doing it again and rejoin them. I also need to just play more guitar period. I feel like even during the stay at home phase of COVID from 2020-2021, I wasn't playing as much guitar and I should have been by myself. I mean I was at home that entire time with nothing else to do but rather I binged Netflix and was on my computer and I just need to get my chops back up and shake the rust off. Learn some new songs, relearn songs I know, and just play. I did go with my grandparents to Florida in April and that was much needed. I still feel like I need to do more of that though to make up for lost time. :lol: I know I feel a lot safer now post-vaccine than I did so I need to be like Nike and just do it!

Hope everyone is doing well and is having a great summer!

Yes Austin - PLEASE get back to playing music. I know how much you love it and I'm sure it will lift your spirits!

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Originally Posted by Ive always been a dreamer

Yes Austin - PLEASE get back to playing music. I know how much you love it and I'm sure it will lift your spirits!

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Thank you, Dreamer! I know I need to do it.

Hey all, long time no hear from.
First of all, I am so heartbroken over Randy's passing. I know, I know. He was old and his health has not been the best the past few years. But it still hurts.
At least he will live on in music and in the hearts of his friends, family, and fans.

So...
what's been going on with me?
I honestly do not remember the last time I was on here. so I'll just start at the top. The first few months of the year consisted of two things: snow and work. It snowed well into spring here, the last day being my birthday (of course). I got so sick of snow, that now that it's summer, I'm really trying not to complain about the heat. I've been working so much in the past couple of months, it's been crazy. Sadly I am not working Usana Amphitheatre this year because my company has been dropped by Live Nation, who runs the show there. Instead we have the Sandy Amphitheatre, which is cool, still have yet to work a shift there. The shifts get swooped up real quick. A big plus this year has been the addition of the Salt Lake Bees triple A baseball, (which is so much fun to work) and the RSL soccer games (which are ok, except last time I was there I nearly passed out from heat stroke!). I'd like to give a big middle finger to the person that suggested we switch from khaki to BLACK pants for our uniforms, not a smart idea in the summer heat.
On the home front, I'm still in the traditional housing hotel. I got a call a few days ago, from one of the apartments I had applied for back in early 2022. I asked them to keep me on their waitlist as I still don't feel quite confident about my credit score and my pay rate to try and apply just yet.

Health wise, my depression seems to be doing ok, the anxiety is not any better, though. Getting my meds is a constant struggle. And then back in June I not only severely pulled a muscle in my shoulder, but just two weeks before that, I sprained my ankle! Never had that happen before, so that was fun. :doh:
Thankfully, they don't hurt as bad anymore. I have been having memory loss episodes that has me scared. I talked to my therapist about it and he thinks it might be medication related. So he said if it doesn't get better by the next time we meet, he will give me suggestions about how to deal with it. I see him in a week or so, so we shall see.

Yesterday was the one year anniversary of my Grandma's death, and today she would've turned 92. So that has been weighing heavily on my mind. I still feel guilty about not having visited her more.
My sister is having issues with her boyfriend, so there is a steady stream of drama from back in California, getting messaged to me on Facebook. I was always the voice of reason growing up, and apparently still am.

If you've made it this far, Congratulations! You get a cookie!
Just kidding. Hope I made y'all smile on this sad day.
:grouphug:

Hey everyone,

I'm still working the library job I got immediately after graduating from college. I'm about to apply to another county library tomorrow to work part-time there while continuing my current job (the hours will line up well, and I was informed of the position before they made it public). If I get it, I'll be working around 32 hours a week.

I also applied to graduate school at 2 different universities in state. I got into both, but my health and finances/lack of funding prevented me from attending this upcoming year. I'm currently undergoing immunoglobulin infusions to help me stay healthy, so I can eventually further my education and work full-time. Hopefully, I'll get this other job, so I can start saving for the cost of attendance to other schools.

Good to hear from you, AG. Congrats on your college graduation and I hope you can continue to pursue your dreams.

Elle - Good to hear from you. I'm sorry to hear about your Grandma. Medications can be such a struggle. I'm personally trying some new things and I'm not having a lot of luck myself. I think the next step for me is intranasal ketamine called Spravato. I've felt suicidal off and on all year and I'm going to a new doctor. The problem is I've been on every medication as of my last med I tried so I've either had no results, mixed results, or bad reactions where it's worse. Spravato is the last thing I can try before going down the path of electroconvulsive therapy and I really don't want to do that if I can help it because of the real possibility of retrograde memory loss. Unfortunately therapy hasn't done anything for me other than give me a place to vent. Actual therapy targeted at helping has done nothing so now my appts are just an hour to decompress and vent and put my feelings onto someone else. I don't envy my therapist, lol.

AG - Good to hear from you as well! Congrats on the graduation and best of luck with your IVIG treatments!

Sorry I am so late responding, but much has me tied up these days!
Congrats, AG, and good luck on your future endeavors!
Elle, I hope that things are starting to look up for you!
WF, I'm sorry to hear of the difficulties you have been facing. Music is good for whatever ails a person, and I hope you can work it in more often.:guitar:
I encourage you to keep fighting to find the help you need, I believe it's out there. Remember there will be brighter days ahead, and reasons to be hopeful despite current circumstance. I believe in you!:nod:

Thank you, FF.

Hi everyone.

Bit of an update on my situation. Unfortunately Spravato/Ketamine did not work for me. I actually am currently going through TMS which is transcranial magnetic stimulation. It's the next to last stop before committing to shock therapy. Unfortunately so far TMS has not seemed to make a difference. I have one more month of it and then if I'm still not better they want me to start ECT. TMS was something that I didn't even know about until I switched psychiatrists and went to a bigger clinic. Ketamine and TMS are two of the last three big treatments for treatment-resistant depression. I'm all but sure I will be doing ECT come December. I'm really afraid of the memory issues people can have but I'm told they have improved it since what you saw of it in movies and such and it's not a barbaric punishment for out of control hospitalized patients like you see in One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest. You go under general anesthesia every time so you aren't even aware of what's going on which for me as someone with anxiety is a blessing.

Wishing you the best in finding what works for your issues, WF. Goodness knows how all treatments have improved in 40+years! Hang in there, new advances happen all the time. Each treatment that doesn't correct things just brings you one step closer to one that will! Praying "No More Cloudy Days" for you!:heart:

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Originally Posted by FreyFollower

Wishing you the best in finding what works for your issues, WF. Goodness knows how all treatments have improved in 40+years! Hang in there, new advances happen all the time. Each treatment that doesn't correct things just brings you one step closer to one that will! Praying "No More Cloudy Days" for you!:heart:

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Thank you, FF.

I’m definitely failing the TMS and ECT is the next logical choice. I’ll take it one treatment at a time.

We are all pulling for you, Austin. Best of luck and, hopefully, you can find the right treatment. And you are right, medicine has come a long way in the last few decades. :hug:

Thanks Dreamer.

While it wasn't my first or fourteenth choice, the time has come and I will in fact start ECT next month. I don't want to be in a situation where I have to choose between ending my pain and devastating my family or continuing my pain and being miserable for the rest of my life. I credit the Eagles with saving my life in 2007 and getting me to play guitar which helped for many years. Sadly I'm in need of a second miracle that I don't think will come. I really don't want my last memory to be knowing the intense pain I will cause my mom and dad but unfortunately that's exactly where we are headed. The hospitalization last month was rough. It told me it's time to swing for the fences and try things I didn't really want to try. It's hopefully going to be a lifesaving decision. I'm really worried about the memory loss but it is what it is. I tried Ketamine and TMS.

I'm so sorry to hear what you've been going through, WF. I'm keeping you in my thoughts!

Thanks, groupie!

I go for my first treatment next week. I'm awfully nervous but I know it may be the only thing to keep me alive at this point other than not wanting to hurt my family but I'm afraid that may soon not be enough. It's time to be open to anything that might help. :heart:

Hey Everyone! Life has been busy and crazy and just down right strange.I will get on tomorrow and say more about what's been going on. But for now, I just had to get on here and say Happy New Year! Let's make 2024 an awesome year!

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Originally Posted by WalshFan88

Thanks, groupie!

I go for my first treatment next week. I'm awfully nervous but I know it may be the only thing to keep me alive at this point other than not wanting to hurt my family but I'm afraid that may soon not be enough. It's time to be open to anything that might help. :heart:

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Austin I hope you got on ok. We are thinking of you and your struggles.

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Originally Posted by Glennsallnighter

Austin I hope you got on ok. We are thinking of you and your struggles.

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Thank you so much, GA. I'm hanging in there.

Glad to hear that you are Austin, I was worried about you! Take care of yourself.

Hey everybody. It's been a bit since my last update.

The first set of ECT treatments are now over and I feel like they were slightly helpful. I had unipolar ECT which was supposed to mean less retrograde amnesia which is a medical term for memory loss of past events. I can say while I did have some significant temporary brain fog I can't think of anything where I'm still hazy on remembering and my family can't find anything either. It was honestly the biggest hurdle to get me to agree to it and I went into it knowing that if the unipolar ECT (one side of the head only) failed to improve my depression, I would have to go with bipolar ECT (both sides of the head, not bipolar disorder) which unfortunately does tend to really affect memory. Unfortunately that time has come where I feel like I need to take the next step to try the bipolar ECT. There is a kind of stimulation called ultrabrief pulse that we did with the one sided unipolar shocks that is also there to prevent memory loss. They want me to do bipolar both sides shock therapy to see if it is more effective. I put this on hold because of what I'll get into below.

I've had some issues with my neck and arm/hand giving me fits since January of 2023 and after an MRI and "shopping around" for surgeons I finally had surgery last month to fix my hand weakness. It was keeping me from playing guitar, opening the lid on a bottle of pop, just about everything. It was my left non-dominant hand but it was still very problematic. I can say I did really well with the ACDF and am now pretty much done with the neck saga and can focus on getting back to my mental health treatment. The weakness in my left hand and tricep is all but gone and getting better every day. For being a major surgery I breezed through it.

After a lot of thought and the concern that I'm still feeling chronically suicidal I have agreed to a trial of bipolar traditional ECT where the shock isn't just on one side of the head but both. I don't want to have memory loss, but I'm concerned that if I don't start feeling a lot better I might be in a really bad spot where I have to make a choice that I don't want to make. If I lose some memory but it helps, it's a major tradeoff but might be one that saves my life. I don't want to hurt my family. If I didn't have them it would be the easiest choice just to end all the pain but the fact is I do not want to hurt them and so I'm trying like hell to get better and am doing things that I had once told the doctor I was dead set against. I feel like the unipolar ECT just didn't last. It was a bit of a bandaid that allowed me to keep pushing on and then shift focus temporarily to my physical health and then now I'm back to where I was before I tried it. It has been a big disappointment. My biggest fear is that because this is the last line of defense, if it fails, it will be the end of my options and then it just comes down to how long I can tolerate things and making as much of an effort as I can for as long as I can but ultimately knowing I will reach my breaking point sooner than later. It's exhausting to think about.

I take things day by day and am just doing the best I can. But I'm still hanging on and that counts for something.

Thanks to everyone for your concern and kind words.

WF, I'm glad that you were able to take care of your neck/arm ailments. The rest has been a rough series of of trials for you, and I am so sorry you have had such an ordeal. Please continue the tough fight to endure until you find the right treatment. I believe that there are better days ahead for you! Keep a network of friends/family/988/and prayer in mind when things get tough, and know there are people who love you who want to see you through to recovery. On this Easter, remember that all seemed lost, but 3 days later, Christ arose in victory to save us all! Keep the faith, Austin, we care, love, and believe in you!:heart:

Thank you, FF.

Austin - I echo every word that FF wrote. I am sorry I'm so late in responding, but we are praying that you will continue to seek the treatment you need until you are well. I know that you are struggling, but, hopefully, you can find the strength you need to recover.

Thanks, Dreamer.

I've got my first appointment for bilateral/bipolar ECT at the end of the month so we'll see how that goes. I'm kind of running out of options but I'm still hoping for the best. I will be doing a 4 treatment system and then will reevaluate effectiveness after that.