The Border Book Club

[sodascouts]

Most women won't end up like Ana; they will end up black & blue, in the hospital or DEAD.....Sorry. Abuse is just wrong. I'm sure that EVERY ABUSER has "ISSUES" that come from childhood trauma or "Whatever excuse they have?" They all have some excuse... They need therapy & or jail time. Just because Christian is young, rich & handsome....he get's away with it...Would Ana be lovin' this so much if he was a poor, dirtbag? I think not.

Exactly. It appears from what others here have said that Grey makes sure not to hit hard enough to leave permanent marks and the friend who lent it to me tells me that he's willing to change for Ana, but most of the men who get off on this kind of thing won't ease up... and the women who stay with them, convinced they'll "change" like Grey did, will pay the price.

In fact, one of my friends who has read the whole series and was really disappointed with the way it ended said "If that guy weren't a billionaire, Ana wouldn't be so willing to go along with his 'red room of pain.'" To be fair, though, he's also supposed to be really hot, and in the beginning Ana keeps harping on how good looking he is constantly. For some women, that's all it takes.

Another thing that annoyed me was the poor writing style. Ana's inner dialogue is maddeningly rambling and repetitive. I feel like the author just wrote this off-the-cuff - there's actually grammar errors in there! Did the author even have an editor? But since it originated as Twilight fanfic and was a spawn of the author's fantasies about Edward as "dom" and Bella as "sub", I guess we shouldn't expect Shakespeare.

[Tiffanny Twisted]

well when I bought the series....I wasnt expecting Shakespeare.


I was just expecting a beach read>


tt

[TimothyBFan]

Exactly. It appears from what others here have said that Grey makes sure not to hit hard enough to leave permanent marks and the friend who lent it to me tells me that he's willing to change for Ana, but most of the men who get off on this kind of thing won't ease up... and the women who stay with them, convinced they'll "change" like Grey did, will pay the price.

Is this something you've read somewhere? I'm sorry, but I totally disagree. I'm no expert but just because a person gets off on S & M, bondage, etc... does not mean that they are abusers, men or women, and a lot of the people who stay with them are also into that or they wouldn't be with them in the first place. I'm not saying that they are all "normal" but it's not as abnormal as some might think and there's nothing wrong with it.

That being said-if you're not into the book, I get that and it was best you stepped away from it. It sure has taken the literary world by storm so I'm thinking there's a lot of people that found it a very good read. I cannot wait to see if they do a movie off of it.

well when I bought the series....I wasnt expecting Shakespeare.

Yeah I'm thinking if you picked up a book that has had the publicity of Fifty Shades of Grey you shouldn't be expecting a classic novel.

[Topkat]

I certainly wasn't expecting Shakespeare, but the writing style of this author was maddening. The "inner goddess", the "biting my lower lip" among other phrases repeated hundreds of times, was getting nauseating.

I was expecting a story, not a porno book, because to me this is what it is. The sex acts described in detail were just boring.

And, yes, it is said in the book that Grey agreed in his little formal " Dominant/ Submissive agreement" not to leave permanent marks on Ana.

That this book has taken the literary world by a storm is almost a tragedy in itself. How are they going to make this into a movie, without it being XXX rated? I think it's a sad state of our society that this book has sold millions of copies. I hate to think young women think this is an acceptable way for a man to treat a woman. That thought really scares me.

[TimothyBFan]

And I'd like to think that young women this day in age are not so naive as to think that they have to live in a situation that they feel uncomfortable with. (I don't deny there are those that will live with it, just as many woman live with spouses/boyfriends that hit and beat them.) But I also hope that they can realize that their sexuality is what they want it to be and if they chose this, it's up to them. It's not necessarily unhealthy or taboo. It's the year 2012 and if this stuff turns them on, then that's ok!!!!

Here's some stuff that was linked on a 50 Shades fan page on FB that I found interesting.

Literary demerits aside, experts contend that the novel and its two equally racy sequels, authored by a British woman, are having a positive impact on women’s sexual health and wellness.

Here's that link
http://www.washingtonpost.com/nation...zfU_story.html


A lot of things on the internet that are speaking out against it also. But as I said above---it's flying off the bookshelves and people are reading it---- apparently people are interested.

And I'd have to say because it's been flying off bookshelves for months now, I must not be alone in thinking it's not naughty/taboo/unhealthy/disgusting/etc..... Women and men are reading it and LOVING it--must be something to it. Again, not for everyone but I hate to think that anyone should be made to feel that they were wrong for reading and enjoying it and it's not a tragedy that they are.

[Topkat]

TimothyBFan

And I'd like to think that young women this day in age are not so naive as to think that they have to live in a situation that they feel uncomfortable with. (I don't deny there are those that will live with it, just as many woman live with spouses/boyfriends that hit and beat them.) But I also hope that they can realize that their sexuality is what they want it to be and if they chose this, it's up to them. It's not necessarily unhealthy or taboo. It's the year 2012 and if this stuff turns them on, then that's ok!!!!

Oh really?? There are high school girls that have abusive boyfriends that they cannot get rid of, that STALK them, that threaten them, that have to call the police, because they are being harassed.......I know of one such young girl who went through this & it was a living HELL... It all starts with CONTROL, that is the key word here. They try to take CONTROL of the woman, & that is exactly what Christian was doing here....Did Ana want this? In book 1 , NO she didn't...My point is that it is not so easy to get out of these relationships once they start... To say that young women are not so naive to think they have to live with a situation they are uncomfortable with, is not realistic.Once you are in it, it's not so easy to just say NO & get out!!!

This is a novel,..... most real life stories don't end this way! Yes, it's ok to have S&M sex play if it is done without harm or abuse or in a playful manner, but most are not. It's all about control & power in the relationship. Ana had to be convinced to play along with these games in the Red Room of Pain, but it is not what she wanted, She was afraid that if she didn't go along with it, she would lose her beloved Christian Gray. In my opinion, no great loss, but once you are involved in it, sometimes there is NO WAY OUT. Meet someone who's lived through it & you will see how this is no party!

[TimothyBFan]

TimothyBFan

Meet someone who's lived through it & you will see how this is no party!

I've met dozens of them----I volunteered in a women's shelter for 12 years and these happen to be the young ladies I worked with often. I said there are those that find themselves in these situations and many who don't feel there's a way out- I get that. But I'm here to tell you, that many of them get out and feel even more empowered when they do get control of their lives. One thing does not necessarily lead to the other and I'm willing to wager a bet that every young lady that has read this book does not feel that if in a relationship like Ana it will lead to them being enslaved, etc....

It's a flipping book that millions have read and not taken it as fact and are just fine with it, which is what this discussion is suppose to be about. Sorry I went there but it p*sses me off when I see people acting as if any one who might have read it must be a sexual deviant or something. If you don't like it don't read it, it's not like there hasn't been millions of things written all over the place about what kind of book it was, so if you don't like reading those kind of books, why pick it up?

I'm not going to argue it any longer because we've gotten completely off topic. I'm seeing more often anymore that there's really no way to state your opinion on here without picking a fight. Sorry if I came across that way. I call Uncle.

[WalshFan88]

TBF - not to change the subject but have you started reading/read the Heart book yet? I haven't got it yet but I need to. Was curious what you thought.

[Tiffanny Twisted]

TBF--

I have noticed that your last paragraph rings really true onthis web site.

I thought it was susposta be an enjoyable place with other people who love the eagles??

It goes back to if you dont wanna read it DON"T.

FOr me I have said it before.....I wanted to see why everyone was reading it.
DO I take it as gospel or the bible.
NO...

If its not for you...just say its not your taste but dont put others down(not you TBF) who chose to read it .

[zeldabjr]

TBF--

I have noticed that your last paragraph rings really true onthis web site.

I thought it was susposta be an enjoyable place with other people who love the eagles??

It goes back to if you dont wanna read it DON"T.

FOr me I have said it before.....I wanted to see why everyone was reading it.
DO I take it as gospel or the bible.
NO...

If its not for you...just say its not your taste but dont put others down(not you TBF) who chose to read it .